Tuesday, 30 April 2013

A to Z: Zombies

It's the very last day of the A to Z April challenge, and therefore also the last day of April. Hopefully some warmer weather is to come during May.

I know, I know, everyone and their dog is doing Zombies for the last of this challenge, but hell, I couldn't pass up on a Zombie Apocalypse now could I?

So today I'm doing a how to post, and hopefully you'll find it interesting, amusing, and in the case of a real zombie apocalypse, useful.

Cute Zombie, from Shutterstock.com
How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse in 5 Easy Steps.

1. All good brits know how to scimp and hoarde, so the first way of surviving is to make sure you have plenty of cans and food that won't go off for a while, as well as biscuits and portable snacks. If there's only cans, for god's sake don't forget your trusty can opener ( preferably not an electric one, in case that's disturbed).

2. Keep heavy artillery in the larder/basement/attic/cellar/laundry room. You never know when a zombie could try to break in. Also keep things you could use as weapons (like bread knives, rounders bats - they're fatter and shorter than baseball bats, so you'll be able to knock them down easier- paint guns, a scalpel and so on) around the house, just in case. Or spend some time thinking of things you could use as a weapon. Perhaps that strimmer in your garage might work to keep them back?

3. Hang out with someone who doesn't stand a chance against zombies, or who runs slower than you. They could be the difference between life and death. Make sure it's someone you don't actually like, otherwise you'll spend all your time going back for them or fighting off zombies and no time doing important things, like escaping.

4. Make sure you have a good escape plan. If it's rubbish you will die. Maybe try to escape to the outer hebrides or something.

5. Bring a large dog. Along similar lines to a person who runs slower, but a dog will go for an attack and could actually keep the zombies busy for a long time. Unless they're lazy.

Last but not least, don't get killed or run out of food, or you're a goner.

I hope that brightens up your day with the thought of an impending zombie apocalypse, it sure did mine.

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this blog challenge as much as I did.

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