Tuesday, 15 February 2011

Beautiful Bodies or Mutilation? You decide. (WARNING: If you're squeamish, I suggest you don't read this)

So, for those of you interested in the weird and wonderful, self mutilation and odd looking things on the body, you've found the right blog for you. For those of you who liked Cat Man (in my tattoo post- Here's a Link to it :D), you'll love this new batch of modified people.

Today I welcome you to my very own interesting bodies show provided for you by searching google. (This folks, means that the pictures aren't mine)
Star Implant. Ouch.

Lizard Man
First up! The Lizard Man.

This man is, in fact, a lizard. His hobbies may include basking in the sun and eating flies.(Below, Right)
Personally, I reckon he could do with a bright green mohecan going on. And some more odd implants (like the ones on his eyebrows or the one on the left.


Next up is the weird and wonderful world of Scarification.
Which is actually rather nasty. It includes either cutting into the skin, cutting areas of skin out or the burning off of skin in order to make a design on the skin. This usually stands out from the skin, as doing this causes scars (hence 'Scarification'). This stands out a lot more than tattoos on darker skin tones.
Although I definitely would not recommend it. Looks bloody painful, as you can definately see here.

Going into lesser painful acts, there's a few pretty cool things you can do with normal tattoos. For example this guy (right) had a darn good idea for a shark tattoo. And you can get UV Ink with which to be tattooed with (below, left). Which is pretty cool if you're the clubbing type, or just generally like UV.

Then we get onto piercings. And, come on. Who hasn't ever seen a piercing.
But I'm not talking about normal piercings. I'm talking about extreme piercing. And I'm pretty sure this next guy will have you wondering whether he is the most pierced person ever. (Truth is, I don't know, but maybe).

Either way, that's a lot of piercings.
God knows how heavy that must be.

Then there's this. Another type of piercing. It's a corset piercing. And don't be fooled, cause piercings bloody hurt. And although this looks pretty, it doesn't actually last very long usually.
It's also just a little bit odd looking in my opinion. Although to be honest, this blog isn't really very 'normal' looking really is it?

And so, just for a bit of fun, I thought I'd throw this guy in here. Now please, don't do this at home, firstly because you could easily break something and secondly because it makes me feel slightly queasy.
In fact, I'm pretty sure most people would feel queasy at the sight of this stuff.

Onto my final act tonight. The female version of the Cat Man. In fact, I think they should definitely be introduced to one another. This is Cat Lady. At least, that's what I'm calling her.
I'm pretty sure she, much like the lizard man, also enjoys basking in the sun, but not eating flies.

She's definitely gone to a few lengths trying to be a cat, but I'm not so sure it measures up to the famous Cat Man. What do you think?

(There's also a woman named Jocelyn Wildenstein who tried to look like a cat. If you want to see bad plastic surgery, click this link.) 

Please read all the relevant links before even thinking about trying out some of these. There are substantial risks involved. And I'd rather not be sued. Thanks.
A pretty good site on all of the above that I found is This One.

Tuesday, 8 February 2011

How to avoid Salespeople.

(If you want the tips.. go to the bottom of this post)
I've always found being stopped in the street annoying, and when it's by a person trying to sell me something, I just get that little bit more tetchy.
I don't care who you are, or what you want me to buy, I really don't want to talk to you on a cold, wet, windy day when I'm about to get something to eat because I didn't have anything for breakfast.

Starvation wins over your sales tactics.

Plus I hate questions like: 'What is your daily skincare routine?' because truth be told, I just wash it and go, with a possibility of some moisturiser. (Seriously, that whole cleanse, tone , moisturise thing.. Doesn't need to be done. My skins perfectly fine.)

The ones that go door to door are probably the worst. When you've opened that door, that's it. They're there to stay. And if you let them in, you're in for it - they'll unleash their endless sales chatter upon you. Try every trick in the book.
But be resilient! Because you don't honestly want to fill your home with tonnes of crap you don't need right? You've probably already done enough of that, at least, I know I have.
Unless of course, you quite want what they've got to offer. (If you know what I mean..)

Generally, I'm not much of a fan of salespeople. If you're going to try selling something at least try to persuade me slightly covertly.
As much as you possibly can, just try to be subtle.
I know I'm a little hypocritical, as I have tried selling people things before (my glorious career as a hand-painted rock salesperson when I was a young girl of (around) 7, and more recently in a local Charity Shop), but at least I tried not to annoy people.
But some salespeople completely force themselves upon you. They won't let you say no.
And those are the ones I just want to slap.

So what I quite enjoy doing is bantering. Although saving it for the ones where you can probably get away with it.
Because A) It leaves you with a smile on your face (and no slapping is involved)
and B) You feel as though you've beaten them at their own game.
And all you need to do is think up some odd/witty/quickfire answers to their questions.
Or just ask them their own questions.
But that's reserved for someone who really really deserves it.


I did promise some tips on
How to avoid Salespeople, so here you go:
  • In the street: Look down, or pretend you're doing something. Walk as far away as possible.
    (If this fails, stare at them. It'll scare them off)
  • In the street: Get out your mobile phone/start talking to a friend
  • On the telephone: Tell them you've got bad signal, or just put the phone down.
  • On the doorstep: Pretend you're not in
  • You've opened the door: Get someone to call or pretend you're foreign.
  • In a shop: Be very interested in something a few aisles away.
  • ALL salespeople: Avoid like the plague.

Sunday, 6 February 2011

I Protest!

So yesterday I once again discovered something I despised.
Normal people probably aren't too bothered by it, quite a few even indulge in it, take part in it.
But I abhor it.

What is this, I hear you ask.
It's Protesting.

Yes, the human right to protest is what really pees me off.
Predominantly because protests are supposed to be peaceful, but do you really call jerking around placards (thanks to Ed for that wonderful word) saying possibly aggressive things, whilst yelling about being wronged and shouting at others to do the same peaceful?
Student protest
And that's just the usual, well-mannered protesters.

In the past, and in particular in the student population, the right to protest has well and truly been worn out. People used to protest quite a lot. And it's been getting more like that recently. People usually seemed to only protest to say that they had done it, and that was OK. It was a major part of student life. Did you really care if you didn't protest?  Of course you did, about certain things, but maybe you just didn't see the need to do things quite so overtly.

Protester and photographers
And these days, it just gets worse.
There are the ones who go out there only to attack people, to cause criminal damage and to get in the papers. And this is sometimes only for their 15 minutes of fame. To get a tiny bit of attention.
Others want to be seen to be doing something about their cause. To make it known.
But why would you need that?
If you really cared about your cause you would do something about it by yourself, make small changes to your life, and do it quietly.
For example, I care about people dying from not having working organs, so I've been an organ doner for quite a while now. I don't rave about it because I know I'd be making a difference to another persons life at some point.
Why would you want to stampede around the street gibbering like a monkey?

I think this is the same principle.
Plus, protesting for whatever it is doesn't really make too much of a difference. All it does is bring attention to your cause. Yes, this is a good thing, especially if the cause is well justified.
But the same thing would apply if, for example, MPs were inundated with letters. They would have to address the issue, whether they liked it or not. A well worded letter is a far better channel than shouting about it and possible violence.

Police and Protesters
There are also added drawbacks. One is that some people will try to hijack a protest. Certain gangs for example. And they do this with the sole purpose of causing damage and being violent.
The other is that protesting wastes police time.
Which would you rather have? A) The police using their time to catch the real criminals (robbers, murderers, terrorists) or B) The police using their time to watch over an unruly crowd of normal people protesting about, say, cuts.

So really, what I'm saying is, why protest when there are other means of doing things? You'd just have to be a little more creative.
And also, is there really anything 'peaceful' about protesting?
I don't think so.

Some useful webpages:
-Your Rights- The Right to Peaceful Protest
-How to become an Organ Doner

Thursday, 3 February 2011

You are feeling sleepy...


What do you think when you hear that word?
I'm guessing most people would think of mind control, body control, no control in fact, and possibly relaxation. Maybe a way of telling you things that you didn't know about yourself.

But what is is really?

Well, the only part in the above description that was one hundred percent correct was a way of relaxing you. And the part about knowing yourself better.
The word Hypnosis derives from the Greek word Hypnos, who was the Greek god/personification of sleep.
Sigmund Freud
Hypnotism is usually used by those trained to do so as a form of therapy. Hypnotherapy in fact. Hypnotherapy can be used to treat problems such as weight issues, pain, alcohol and drug issues, behavioural issues, anxiety and depression,  phobias, etcetera.

Hypnotherapy was founded by Sigmund Freud, when he founded his psychoanalytical approach to psychology. (I know, he was a little crazy with the whole fancying your mother thing and dreaming about phallic symbols, but some good did come out of it. Like hypnotherapy and dream dictionaries. -come on, they are quite funny.)

I myself am undergoing hypnotherapy at my university and being honest, I think it may have helped. Only slightly, but then again, I haven't had many sessions.

But from my experience hypnotism takes you away to a place where only you can go to. It's the most wonderful, peaceful place you can think or dream of. And it's all yours. Mine, for example is a wood-surrounded garden filled with flowers, birds and butterflies. A sparkling river runs through it and the sun beats down. The gentle zephyrs carry only the fragrance of flowers, wood and late spring.
It's always nice to go to that place and just sit in the garden and think.

Hypnotism, of course has always had a bad reputation. Mainly because 'magicians' use it to supposedly trick people into doing things, or getting them to do things that they otherwise would not.
I think Derren Brown is probably a good name to drop here.

A common misconception is also that when you are 'under', it's difficult to get out. From my own experience I've found that this isn't the case. You are always aware of your surroundings, so much so it's sometimes hard to get into the right state, as even small noises can be a distraction.

Although I could tell you much about my own experiences, it's probably better left to the experts.
So, if you'd like more information I would recommend the following links:

The Hypnotherapy Association UK
Wikipedia's Extensive page on Hypnotherapy
US Hypnosis
Meditation Ideas

(please note that Wikipedia pages may not be 100% correct)

Tuesday, 1 February 2011

'Bofiloksms' - Why Books and Films don't mix.

Adapting books into films. You'd think that the film makers would have learned their lesson by now. Where has this seemingly endless fascination with adaptations come from?
Sure they'd realise by now that most of them are pretty much doomed to failure.
Especially if the book is a good one.

We'll take, for example Children's books.
Always irreversibly ruined by the film industry.
I give you here as examples Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson Series, Darren Shan's Cirque Du Freak Series and Christopher Paolini's Inheritance Cycle (Including Eragon) series. Of course, these adaptations are now virtually unheard of. A. Because they're a bit pants in comparison to the books and B. because they haven't even made a second film adaptation for any of these series.
Inkheart Book Cover.

Some are in fact horrifically massacred. A favourite of mine is the Inkworld Series by Cornelia Funke. It's set in a beautifully crafted world which absorbs the reader right into it, quite literally. The characters are lovable and interesting, with their bad sides on show for everyone to see. But the film version just takes the book and does a number 2 on it.
Brendan Fraser and Helen Mirren are fine in their own way, but they are definitely not at their best. The story completely lacks the ethereal beauty and description of the books and turns a novel into generic children's film. As I'm sure you can tell, I was not best pleased.

Saying this, some adaptations have been hugely successful. This includes J.K Rowling's Harry Potter, Stephanie Meyer's Twilight, J.R Tolkien's Lord of the Rings and C.S Lewis' The Chronicles of Narnia Franchises. Though some of these books are deemed of bad quality and little inspiration, the film have nevertheless been adored by millions of people around the world. Harry Potter and Twilight are always seen to be competing for both bad press and the headlines, fans seemingly both overjoyed and outraged at the differences between the books and the films of each.

Whereas the Chronicles of Narnia are a light read and watch, and in my opinion have the warmth, simplicity and charm you expect from an older styled book, reminiscent of Enid Blyton and Beatrix Potter.
Lord of the Rings, however was made into an adventure epic that seemed to overshadow the book, but missed out some of the more intricate and perhaps necessary plot points.

Some film adaptations have had me screaming at them. OK, quite a few. The Time Machine, for example, had me raging at it's incapability to be even remotely based on the interesting H.G Wells novella. Once you've plodded your way through the obscure wording and far-reaching concepts you really want the film to be slightly like it. The film, instead, was a study on a man trying to bring back his loved one, but ending up going into the future and trying to help a future race.
Yes, this is vaguely the storyline of the book, except the future race are very, very different and there is no loved one. He travels simply for the knowledge and excitement.

Also an interesting, rather than good adaptation of the same kind is The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. I was put off of the film automatically because it seemed to me to be trying to make the story too action-y. And the ending was a far cry from the events of the book, but still a good one. Ben Barnes would not have been my choice for Dorian either, his character lacks the subtlety that I would have liked. Not a film I would see again.

The three Alice's. 1.Book
2. Original Disney Cartoon
3. Tim Burton Disney film
Perhaps one of the best adaptations I have seen would be Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. It captures the devilish and oddball side of the story that the older Disney version lacks. Although not sticking to the original stories, it doesn't need to. It's a new story about Alice, and a good one at that. (Also see Lewis Carrols Alice's Adventures in Wonderland)

One area I haven't covered yet, mainly because it's so trashily awful, is the comic book genre. Spiderman, Superman, Watchmen, Catwoman, X-Men, Fantastic Four, Batman, Iron Man.. you name it, it's been ruined.
The film versions of comics are always going to be a little crap with a general mixing of story lines. Mainly because the story lines of comics changes so much. But when they get something really wrong, it makes comic geeks out there furious. And the hugely successful Spiderman franchise is an example of this. It doesn't follow story lines and the characters are out of place and sometimes just plain wrong.
Most of these comic based films completely miss out on their fan base because they don't use the better story lines, the characters are one-sided and are more child-oriented than their comic counterparts.

And perhaps some other good ones are more of the older style books. Such as Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and Bram Stoker's Dracula, depending on which versions you choose. But generally these book make good films because of their originality. The way that they can be adapted in a variety of ways that still makes sense.

If you watch these adapted films alone, they're OK, sure. But when you read the book your estimation of them just crashes down around your feet. It's very rare to find a film that matches up to the book, let alone is better than it, although for me Narnia comes close.
Although most films seem to bare no resemblance to their book counterparts, here the Guardian lists some films that apparently do:  Guardian's Top 50 good adaptations - This includes Alice in Wonderland, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Sin City, Dangerous Liaisons and The Remains of the Day.

On the other hand here is A list of 20 Good Books made into awful Movies. This includes Bicentennial Man, Stardust (a favourite book, and a horrifically child-oriented film), The Shining, Breakfast at Tiffany's (Although there is some debate about that one, some say it's brilliant, and some say it's awful), The Black Cauldron and a Mention of other classics such as The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Mary Poppins.

 So there you have it. Books and films just don't mix. You know it. I know it.
So a notice to film studios everywhere: Just don't do it. And if you do, make sure it's a rubbish book that you can make better.


This blog was written with inspiration from http://empire500.blogspot.com/ - A blog reviewing films from Empire Magazines 500 5 Star Rated films of all time. Thank you :).

And for those who read this only to see if there was a picture of twilight.. I'll give in to your needs. Only this picture will be a nice, natural picture. Shirts on:
There you go. I hope you're happy.

 OK, I lied completely, but he does have a very chiseled body.
 (All images from a google search)
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