Tuesday, 9 August 2011

Weee're off the see the... pyramids?

Travelling is something I have always wanted to do.
And it's something I'm incredibly proud of having done too.

But to be honest, there's a lot of places I still need/want to go to. (And I WILL be giving you a quick 'Top 5' list at the end of this post.)

Travelling can be defined in two ways: Leisure and business. You don't want the business option. This is because usually you get a swanky hotel, but you have to work whilst trying to drink in the rays of sunshine. Or maybe visiting a major landmark isn't quite so goiod whilst wearing a suit.

But normal leisure holidays are bliss aren't they? Wait, do I hear you say no? Why?

Travelling can be an utter nightmare.
First there's the packing. Oh the dreadful packing. You never know what the weather will be like, so don't know what kind of clothes to bring. I know I always end up taking more than I should just because I may need a Jumper/Anorak/Scarf/Extra skirt.
Then there's the getting there. Whether it's flying, driving, ferry-ing, cycling or ballooning, something will always go wrong. Someone will always be on the late side, or perhaps the car is out of water, or maybe someone forgot something and you're already half way to the airport. But something always happens. (And it usually happens to me.)
Czech Republic

Luggage. When you pick up your luggage at the end of a flight. That's the bit I most dread. It's terrifying. What would happen if it was too heavy and you ended up going around on the travelator? Or what if your luggage mysteriously vanishes or was sent to a completely different place? Not. Good.

Hotels/hostels/B+Bs. General Accomodation. These are sometimes are the worst part of a holiday. Although if you look around enough, definitely looking at reviews and check beforehand hopefully this matter wouldn't have to be adressed. But yes, some holidays are completely ruined by the accommodation, be it by loud and awful neighbours, or mould-infested bathrooms. But if you complain enough about the state of your room there's always a chance you could get it for free, or money off.

Washington D.C
The actual holiday. Not only do the people sometimes annoy you (what with the usual tiny annoyances, and then the larger debates on where to go, what to do, who has to sleep in the double bed together and so on) but there's bugs, pills to take, amount of sun tan lotion to have on you, whether you require more money than initially planned. Many things that could potentially go wrong. We all hope they don't, but most likely they will.
But hopefully, your holidays always go exceedingly well, with not a hitch in sight. (Apart from the general holiday stress).

Top 5 Places I NEED to visit.
1. Peru (Aztec Buildings... need I say more?)
2. Norway (To watch the lovely Aurora Borealis (Northern Lights)
3. Colorado (Which is apparently beautiful) or Alaska.
4. Gibraltar (It's where one half of my family is from)
5. Thailand (well, why not?)

ALL pictures used in this post are my own pictures.

Sunday, 17 July 2011

Doctor... Who?

Doctors. You can say a lot about them.
There are a heck of a lot of types: eye doctors, teeth doctors (also known as dentists.. please see my other post depicting how evil they are. Right HERE), child doctors (paediatricians, not to be confused with paedos), woman doctors (Gynaecologists, not to be confused with.. er.. a Gyroscope?), witch doctors, Doctor Who, Dr. Seuss, Dr. Phil. Yeah.

So it's interesting. And soon I'll be having to waltz into the reception, ask about my appointment, wait for my appointment and then walk gloomily into the room to have my eyes poked and prodded, only to be told, most likely, that not a lot can be done about it.
Which is pretty much what happens every time anybody goes to the doctors.
That or they ply you with some drugs and tell you to come back if they:
A. Don't work
B.Work too well OR
C. Run out.

But on a good note, Doctor Who, the famous Television series and film franchise, is really really good. I think that this redeems Doctors no end.

Seriously though, Doctors have to go through one heck of a lot. First training.. which is many years, then actually dealing with patients? Some being major hypochondriacs and others just having sore heads. And the weird thing people get stuck in their passages, no thank you. So I have a lot of respect for doctors.
And they always have to look at the worst parts of a human. All infected and gross.

Obviously, it must be incredibly rewarding when you cure a person of a disease, or save a life, or perform a heart transplant, or generally make a persons' life better.  But would you want that much responsibility?

And then there's nurses. The ones that get all the jobs the doctors hate, or are too busy to do. And work their butts off (although obviously not all of them) just for the news to say it's rubbish? So I feel for them too.

So yes. Doctors and Nurses.
A great theme for a party, but a great job?
I'm not so sure.

Monday, 20 June 2011

Five is the magic number, actually.

So, I've decided on some top 5's of everything.
Films, Books, People, Inventions, Natural Wonders, Places, Trees, Paintings, Toys.. you name it.

And today, we're looking at Inventions.
Inventions are, most obviously, exceedingly important to our lives. And pretty much everything has been invented, except for natural materials.. trees..mountains and such. So I've decided what my favourite inventions are. The Top Five.

5. Mobile Phones. Yes, I know it's probably a little cliche now, but I shall never again take my mobile phone for granted. I was without it for one day and didn't know the time, didn't have anything to avoid people in town asking me questions, and I didn't know what my boyfriend may have text me. It was weird.

4. Games. Without games I would be constantly bored. I don't mean just things like playing on the Wii or DS or something, I mean proper games too. Board games, Card games. Everything. And I guess a few Sports games.

3. Houses. Always nice to have somewhere solid to live. Couldn't live in one of those huts or a tent or something. Saying this, an occasional Tepee might be alright.

2. The Internet. (And Computers) Otherwise I wouldn't even be posting this. No Messaging, no emailing, no gaming, no awesome software, no quick music downloads. You get the jist. And it's far easier typing up an essay on this thing than writing it all up. And spellchecking is a lifesaver.

1. Electricity. Also perhaps cliche, but extraordinarily useful. We can power cookers, shavers, computers, TVs, Lights, Appliances, Chargers, Fridges. All sorts. And this is why Electricity is my favourite invention. Also, you can make awful Watt jokes with it.

Inventions: Clever. Innovative. Genius.
And we don't even have an underwater city yet.

But we do have flying cars.
Always a good thing.

Friday, 17 June 2011

Food for Thought. And Talent, apparently.

Browsing the weird news sites yet again for your enjoyment, I found something pretty darn cool.
China's got Talent.

It does. It really does. In the form of 23-year-old Bai Den Chun. He cuts cucumbers with playing cards. And seriously, it's pretty impressive.
The article for this was found at the Telegraph online AND they have a video of him cutting the cucumber.
To read and watch click THIS LINK.
At least he's not cutting the cheese, eh? (Yes, I know that was absolutely awful.)

Nathan, Toast and Marmite. From google.
But it doesn't stop there.
This only reminds me of a recent Britains Got Talent entry, 21-year-old  Nathan Wyburn, who artfully painted the judge and comedian Michael McIntyre's face onto pieces of toast using Marmite. Pretty impressive.
Even thought Marmite isn't the nicest spread. I reckon he should have gone for Peanut Butter or Jam.
For those who prefer a real news story to my anecdotes, HERE's the link to the Sun's version. (But you should prefer mine.)

Also, for the more chocolate loving of us (you know who you are) I found a wonderful invention. A car powered by chocolate. It's also partially made out of other foods such as potatoes and soy beans. The best part though, is the steering wheel made from carrots. Yes, I was a bit incredulous too. But seriously. Here's the LINK to prove it.
It's greener at least. Or.. Browner. (I know, I'll stop with the seriously crap puns and gags, but come on, some of them are kind of funny.. A bit.)

So there's your update on weird food news. I don't know why, but weird news with food as the subject, I just like it. And food is always good.

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

The Horror of Second Year Halls #2

You'd think one was bad enough right?

But upon living in second year halls for a year, I've discovered a whole new batch of catastrophe's.

First and foremost is the leaky toilet. Discovered only yesterday when I realised there was a large puddle building up behind the toilet. Which is lovely.
At first I thought it was my flatmate, water absolutely everywhere, no idea why.. and it could have culminated behind the toilet, right?
Upon looking this morning, I came to the conclusion that no, she's not quite as messy as I first thought.

Secondly the lovely mildew and mould in the shower. That's always nice. Because of the mould and general wearing away of the stuff that's supposed to seal the shower, it is now also as leaky as the toilet. If not, leakier. Although only when you've had a shower. There's just a nice little pool of water on the floor. Lovely.

Then there was a fire alarm this morning, and my flatmate moving out on Sunday night when I had an exam on Monday. All sorts of enjoyable things about second year halls.

But to be honest, a house can be just as bad as halls.  Except with less people to piss you off, but in much closer proximity. And there isn't cleaners to clear up their mess.

Thursday, 12 May 2011

Ode to Imagination.

This blog post is devoted to the imagination. To people. To our world, and most of all, to paper.

Because we can make many many things out of paper.
Books, Notes, Flyers, Posters, Paper Aeroplanes, Newspapers, Papier Mache, Drawings, Paintings, Poems, Brainstorms, Labels, Packaging, Cards.
Anything you can think of really.
Well I wrote a random poem a few days ago, and I'd like to think it's not too bad. And I'd like to share it with you.

A piece of paper can conquer the world,
It has the power to shape and to mould.
Printed in books it sends out a message,
Or used as a visa, allowing safe passage.
Signs and posters to make people think,
Messages to loved ones gone in a blink.
The words themselves can speak so loud,
They speak of things that make us proud.
Religion, fantasy, ideas and notes,
We use it to put our people to vote.
To write stories and make pictures are uses too,
And when each piece is worn out we can start one anew.

As you probably know by now, books and stories are pretty much my thing. I love them. And so for me this was a pretty good poem.

So the suggestion today is to use your imagination and think about how everything has a use. And how important it is for you.

I know, this was a weird post. But don't worry, next time It'll be back with the odd and wonderful!

Tuesday, 3 May 2011

The Dangers of Walking.

I'm sure many of you have walked at some point. Or ran. Or jogged. Or crawled.
All of which come with their very own unique sets of dangers.

I have done my fair share of walking, which is despicable after the first 15 minutes. Especially in hot weather.
So I'm going to tell you my top walking dangers.
And then give you tips on how to avoid these dangers.

1. Dehydration and getting out of breath. Dangerous rating: 9/10. Why? Because you may die/ feel like dying. Avoiding this is simple, drinking (preferably water, but alcohol makes it less painful) and stopping for a rest.

2. Low hanging branches. These are a very real danger, even for short people. Trust me, I'm short and a branch HAS whacked me in the head. Easily avoided by actually looking where you're going and ducking.

3. Slipping. Wet and snowy/icy weather is a pain in the ass because of this. Who hasn't fallen over in the snow? Avoided by taking careful steps and not leaving banana skins lying around.

4. Falling over/ making a fool of oneself. This can lead to very serious injuries. I mean it. Broken arms galore. So basically, try not to trip over yourself. This has also happened to me.
Man Falling- Wikipedia

5. Hidden rocks and/or invisible dangers. These are complete asses. Absolutely no way to avoid these, except for noting the glint on the glass door before you walk into it.

6. Other overhead catastrophes (ie. Birds and other falling objects). Can't really be avoided unless you look up or hear it coming.

7. Mid-section dangers (ie. Elbows (although for the small this is a head danger and for the tall this is a crotch or rib danger) and also bushes). Mid section dangers basically only make you look like an idiot. Anyone can avoid a bush. So look where you're going.

8. Other obstacles.  Anything. Most of which can be avoided. Some examples are: traffic cones, cars, bikes, signs, trees, statues, people, lampposts, demonic fairies, building sites etc.

To finish off I would also like to warn you of the dangers of walking in all weather. As I've already stated, rain and snow is bad. And also the sun, especially when sticking to the tarmac when stood in one spot in the boiling sun for too long.

Also, large hailstones.

This one was for you Ed. :D

And here's some random links, because I can:
The Benefits and Dangers of Walking - yes, it's a real one.
Wikipedia's Walking page. Very informative.
Weather page on Wikipedia.
REAL Massive Hailstones.
Hail (hailstones) on wikipedia - you know, if you wanted to know how they're made and stuff.

Tuesday, 12 April 2011

Dressing for Dinner or Dressing as Dinner? Your Call.

Cheese Shoes (found at Metro.co.uk)
After having a good old look about the Internet for weird news stories, I found a corker.

A pair of shoes made from Cheese. You don't believe me? There's a picture for proof, and HERE's the news article. So, how about some more dairy footwear, anyone?
Picture from Google
Lady Gaga and Meat
And let's not forget Lady Gaga's infamous Meat Dress. Which many people had a lot of beef with. (Pardon the pun.) But seriously, what is it with fashion and food?

I reckon I can find some really good food fashion out there though. So this is my post mission.

Food on clothes have always been an idea, we've seen pictures of cakes on clothes, fruit on heads and the cherry fad that happened, don't know if you remember, but not so long ago fruit was all around us. Cherry dresses everywhere. I'll admit, I did really want one, and I did get something with strawberries on it at one point. But it was all in the name of food. Something I love.

But this just seems a little ridiculous.
Picture from Google
Saying this, I did find this very interesting Burger Dress. I actually quite like it. Would never ever wear it, but at least it would certainly make people stop and stare. 

Of course this also makes me think of the poor people who have to parade outside restaurants and cafes trying to lure people in wearing a food costume of their choice, and the unfortunate people at fancy dress parties who think to come as food. Although very original, most people do think it's weird. Personally, I reckon I could get away with it. And everybody should really. Fight the conformity and all.

I also found THIS website hosting some pictures of food as outfits, and personally I adore the bread one. And the Artichoke hearts. But wow. Elegance and food combined.
Plus I can see a massive upside to food as clothing. When you get hungry all you have to do is take something from the piece of clothing. I'm thinking I'm going to have a cake hat.

So to bring this to a close, I reckon food fashion is the way forward, providing it's not past it's use by date. Ew.

Monday, 11 April 2011

Royal Weddings and a Brief, Biased and Odd History of Love.

So, the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton will soon be underway, so I thought it only right to have a look at the great history of love and romance and so on, seeing as it's not long til the big day, and we in England get a day off for it.

As much as it's nice to watch a wedding, especially one as fancy and no doubt beautiful as this one (plus I want to see the dress) I'm not sure I will be able to as I have a distinct lack of a television in my flat. Saying this, I may wheedle my way into spending the day at home or with my sister. Both places have a TV, and other creature comforts that my room sorely lacks.

So, the history of love, in my eyes, goes a little like this:

Prince William and Kate Middleton
From Mirror.co.uk
-St Valentine. I have absolutely no idea what happened there, so a Wikipedia page will be linked to, right HERE. But Valentine's day nowadays is a celebration of all things sufficiently cuddly and love-inducing. It's a couples day. And when you're not one of a couple it's a completely miserable day, considering it's supposed to be about love and happiness.

-Sir Lancelot and Guienevere. Yes, I know it's a legend, and I know that Guienevere was with King Arthur, but honestly, who can say no to a big rugged knight who just wants to whisk you away?

-Shakespeare. Well, he didn't half know how to write about love. Romeo and Juliet, Shall I Compare Thee? (one of his sonnets) and so on. Plus being a poet and playwright that everybody does love seems romantic enough for me. And also I'd say Jane Austen definitely does her bit for old fashioned English romance.

-Love in general. It may sound completely soppy, but as Wet Wet Wet concluded ' Love Is All Around'. And It's true. A million types of love. And isn't that very, very nice?

Images from google
- (carrying on) Love songs. My favourites being old rocky classics such as Aerosmiths' 'Don't Wanna Miss A Thing', Bon Jovi's 'Always' and 'Bed of Roses' and Bryan Adams' 'Everything I do'. But love songs are just generally there to make us all feel very, very soppy and adored. And for the most part I would say they do.

So that's my idea of what the L word is all about. Along with a few weird ideas about literature.
So yes, don't forget on the Royal Wedding day to remember this is all about Love. Not who may be running the country and definitely not about how expensive the dress is. Or how grand the guests are. Although these are definitely points to notice.
Some Links you may find interesting:
List of Love Songs (for weddings apparently)
Last But not Least, the WIKIPEDIA PAGE. (Oh Wikipedia, you are a saviour)

Thursday, 7 April 2011

Glorious ghosts or Pestering Poltergeists? Either way its Ectoplasmic!

And now I'll be reporting on the subject of the paranormal.. the.. er... ectoplasmal.. the.. ghostly?
Yep, that'll do.
Our first exploratory step into the world of the paranormal is the creepy and weird world of ghosts.

What are ghosts? Well.. we don't have a damn clue to be honest.
But I'm going ahead and saying ghosts are predominantly known as spirits of the deceased, coming back into the world through the spiritual plain to visit their old haunts (haha, get it?) and generally creep people out.
Ghosts are often called many different things: spirits, poltergeists, souls, apparitions... you name it. And ghosts are believed in all over the world, just with different names, like many other paranormal and mythical creatures. But ghosts are the things that people believe in most.
Wikipedia has a very thorough page on all things ghostly. Click HERE for this page.

Once I think I felt a ghost. And once I thought I saw a ghost. Just a blob, nothing special. But the feeling. Like something touched me when absolutely nobody could have. And just thinking about this is making my skin goosebumpy and eyes water.

An Oiuja Board- Picture from Wikipedia
 Which is a weird thing to do really. Why do my eyes water when I think of ghosts? Strange. But it happens every single time.

So ghosts. could be people, could be remnants of ideas, could be dust particles, could be a trick of the light. Could be a really good way of explaining why we lose things so often.

Of course, people have always tried to prove that they've seen these spectres, from photos, telling of past experiences, video, Ouija boards, and probably the most well known, television programmes.
Most Haunted is probably one of the most well known ones (at least in England, and possibly Ghost Hunters or Ghost Adventures in the USA).
Films are also in on the act. There's the more recent Paranormal Activity (1 and 2), Ghost, Ghostbusters, The Haunting, Casper etcetera. Ghosts and other paranormal ideas, concepts, realities are just another source of enjoyment and interest.
And it's always something good to have a chat about, tell scary stories about and generally worry kids with.

The Day of the Dead -Picture from Google
Something I did find out about in my obvious extensive research (ie. Wikipedia and IMDB search) is the many festivals and general celebrations of death and ghosts and so on. There's Halloween (or All Hallows Eve), The Day of the Dead in Mexico (or All Souls Day, which sounds awesome), The Hungry Ghost Festival in China and many more.

So to finish off, I'm not going to tell you whether ghosts are real or not, because I don't have a clue. But wouldn't it be really interesting if they were?

Also some interesting sites I found along the way:
MostHaunted.com - A website about US most haunted places.
Wikipedia's page on 'Paranormal'
If you're in the UK and want to go ghost hunting, I found THIS website.

Wednesday, 16 March 2011

2000 Well Placed Clicks.

Just to commemorate, my blog now has over 2000 views.
Thank you very very much for expressing even a slight interest in this here blog.

I am thoroughly indebted to you all.
(Except those who ask for anything in return.)

So yes. Over 2000. Wow.

And I know I can firmly place the blame on the main reason for anyone to visit this website on one person only.

He is known as LIZARD MAN.

And now this blog is a slight shrine to him.
Because he is obviously awesome.
and a big thank you goes to him for upping my pageviews.

I owe you a drink.
(Only redeemable in England, at weekends, with supervision)

Tuesday, 15 March 2011

The Beginners Guide to Identity.

Upon doing a oddly interesting lecture and seminar on adolescent identity, I decided that Identity would be a great blog idea.

So this is what I came up with:

Identity, like so many other concepts (Intelligence, Personality) is rather vague. What makes up a persons identity?
There's the official definition, and my definition. I'll tell you mine, its far more interesting.

Identity is anything that you think about yourself: Whether you're a student, mother, Hindu, albino, goth, posh person, yearly income less than £5000. You name it, that's what its about.

But the main things are Politics, Religion, Social Status, Orientation, Gender, Occupation and Nationality. Anything in which you can group yourself in.

To give a bit more of a clue, I'll tell you I'm British, Young Adult, Organ Donor, Criminologist, Loves Books, Clothes and Marzipan, Agnostic, Female, Tattooed, Student, Light Drinker, Dislikes Cats and Cities. Lives in a City.
... But to tell you the truth that just sounds like something you'd find on a dating site.

So yes. Identity is pretty important. It makes you, well, you.
And during adolescence is when you branch out and try out what identity suits you best.

I tried goth, bright coloured, christian, atheist, geologist, teacher and experimented in what I thought about marriage, drinking, the meaning of life, stem cell research. Everything.

It's always good to have a clear idea of what kinds of things you have to offer, what you want to do with your life and what your own thoughts are on hot topics. It's just human nature I guess.

So yes. This was your short guide to identity. Hope you enjoyed reading about what you already basically knew. :)

Tuesday, 1 March 2011

The Evolution of Men.

Upon watching football at a pub swamped in testosterone (not my idea, my boyfriends, but I did have a lovely pudding there) I decided that men are a very interesting subject.

Especially those watching football.
It's really odd.
I would compare it to watching a woman who loves shopping go into a shoe shop. When there's an amazing pair of shoes, her whole face glows. And this, I swear, is exactly what happens with men who enjoy football.

There is one difference however, when women find a shoe that they completely adore, and buy it, they don't yell out and raise their fists in the air in triumph.
I'd like to think it's far more sophisticated. We do that kind of thing later when nobody is watching.
(In fact a friend did comment these exact words : 'you don't see a woman cheering at a shoe'. He's a guy who likes football.)
Also, If women don't get what they want, just like men, they complain about it to their other halves. That or are sulky. (You know who you are.)
The weird thing is, another person pointed out, that both clothes and football include seasons.
And colours. And on occasion balls too.

So yes.
I also noticed that when doing something a man (or a woman, sometimes) enjoys, we begin to revert back to the stone age. Leaping around gibbering nonsense and such.

So if that's what I thought going to the pub to watch football, I can't imagine the chaos at an actual game.

Tuesday, 15 February 2011

Beautiful Bodies or Mutilation? You decide. (WARNING: If you're squeamish, I suggest you don't read this)

So, for those of you interested in the weird and wonderful, self mutilation and odd looking things on the body, you've found the right blog for you. For those of you who liked Cat Man (in my tattoo post- Here's a Link to it :D), you'll love this new batch of modified people.

Today I welcome you to my very own interesting bodies show provided for you by searching google. (This folks, means that the pictures aren't mine)
Star Implant. Ouch.

Lizard Man
First up! The Lizard Man.

This man is, in fact, a lizard. His hobbies may include basking in the sun and eating flies.(Below, Right)
Personally, I reckon he could do with a bright green mohecan going on. And some more odd implants (like the ones on his eyebrows or the one on the left.


Next up is the weird and wonderful world of Scarification.
Which is actually rather nasty. It includes either cutting into the skin, cutting areas of skin out or the burning off of skin in order to make a design on the skin. This usually stands out from the skin, as doing this causes scars (hence 'Scarification'). This stands out a lot more than tattoos on darker skin tones.
Although I definitely would not recommend it. Looks bloody painful, as you can definately see here.

Going into lesser painful acts, there's a few pretty cool things you can do with normal tattoos. For example this guy (right) had a darn good idea for a shark tattoo. And you can get UV Ink with which to be tattooed with (below, left). Which is pretty cool if you're the clubbing type, or just generally like UV.

Then we get onto piercings. And, come on. Who hasn't ever seen a piercing.
But I'm not talking about normal piercings. I'm talking about extreme piercing. And I'm pretty sure this next guy will have you wondering whether he is the most pierced person ever. (Truth is, I don't know, but maybe).

Either way, that's a lot of piercings.
God knows how heavy that must be.

Then there's this. Another type of piercing. It's a corset piercing. And don't be fooled, cause piercings bloody hurt. And although this looks pretty, it doesn't actually last very long usually.
It's also just a little bit odd looking in my opinion. Although to be honest, this blog isn't really very 'normal' looking really is it?

And so, just for a bit of fun, I thought I'd throw this guy in here. Now please, don't do this at home, firstly because you could easily break something and secondly because it makes me feel slightly queasy.
In fact, I'm pretty sure most people would feel queasy at the sight of this stuff.

Onto my final act tonight. The female version of the Cat Man. In fact, I think they should definitely be introduced to one another. This is Cat Lady. At least, that's what I'm calling her.
I'm pretty sure she, much like the lizard man, also enjoys basking in the sun, but not eating flies.

She's definitely gone to a few lengths trying to be a cat, but I'm not so sure it measures up to the famous Cat Man. What do you think?

(There's also a woman named Jocelyn Wildenstein who tried to look like a cat. If you want to see bad plastic surgery, click this link.) 

Please read all the relevant links before even thinking about trying out some of these. There are substantial risks involved. And I'd rather not be sued. Thanks.
A pretty good site on all of the above that I found is This One.

Tuesday, 8 February 2011

How to avoid Salespeople.

(If you want the tips.. go to the bottom of this post)
I've always found being stopped in the street annoying, and when it's by a person trying to sell me something, I just get that little bit more tetchy.
I don't care who you are, or what you want me to buy, I really don't want to talk to you on a cold, wet, windy day when I'm about to get something to eat because I didn't have anything for breakfast.

Starvation wins over your sales tactics.

Plus I hate questions like: 'What is your daily skincare routine?' because truth be told, I just wash it and go, with a possibility of some moisturiser. (Seriously, that whole cleanse, tone , moisturise thing.. Doesn't need to be done. My skins perfectly fine.)

The ones that go door to door are probably the worst. When you've opened that door, that's it. They're there to stay. And if you let them in, you're in for it - they'll unleash their endless sales chatter upon you. Try every trick in the book.
But be resilient! Because you don't honestly want to fill your home with tonnes of crap you don't need right? You've probably already done enough of that, at least, I know I have.
Unless of course, you quite want what they've got to offer. (If you know what I mean..)

Generally, I'm not much of a fan of salespeople. If you're going to try selling something at least try to persuade me slightly covertly.
As much as you possibly can, just try to be subtle.
I know I'm a little hypocritical, as I have tried selling people things before (my glorious career as a hand-painted rock salesperson when I was a young girl of (around) 7, and more recently in a local Charity Shop), but at least I tried not to annoy people.
But some salespeople completely force themselves upon you. They won't let you say no.
And those are the ones I just want to slap.

So what I quite enjoy doing is bantering. Although saving it for the ones where you can probably get away with it.
Because A) It leaves you with a smile on your face (and no slapping is involved)
and B) You feel as though you've beaten them at their own game.
And all you need to do is think up some odd/witty/quickfire answers to their questions.
Or just ask them their own questions.
But that's reserved for someone who really really deserves it.


I did promise some tips on
How to avoid Salespeople, so here you go:
  • In the street: Look down, or pretend you're doing something. Walk as far away as possible.
    (If this fails, stare at them. It'll scare them off)
  • In the street: Get out your mobile phone/start talking to a friend
  • On the telephone: Tell them you've got bad signal, or just put the phone down.
  • On the doorstep: Pretend you're not in
  • You've opened the door: Get someone to call or pretend you're foreign.
  • In a shop: Be very interested in something a few aisles away.
  • ALL salespeople: Avoid like the plague.

Sunday, 6 February 2011

I Protest!

So yesterday I once again discovered something I despised.
Normal people probably aren't too bothered by it, quite a few even indulge in it, take part in it.
But I abhor it.

What is this, I hear you ask.
It's Protesting.

Yes, the human right to protest is what really pees me off.
Predominantly because protests are supposed to be peaceful, but do you really call jerking around placards (thanks to Ed for that wonderful word) saying possibly aggressive things, whilst yelling about being wronged and shouting at others to do the same peaceful?
Student protest
And that's just the usual, well-mannered protesters.

In the past, and in particular in the student population, the right to protest has well and truly been worn out. People used to protest quite a lot. And it's been getting more like that recently. People usually seemed to only protest to say that they had done it, and that was OK. It was a major part of student life. Did you really care if you didn't protest?  Of course you did, about certain things, but maybe you just didn't see the need to do things quite so overtly.

Protester and photographers
And these days, it just gets worse.
There are the ones who go out there only to attack people, to cause criminal damage and to get in the papers. And this is sometimes only for their 15 minutes of fame. To get a tiny bit of attention.
Others want to be seen to be doing something about their cause. To make it known.
But why would you need that?
If you really cared about your cause you would do something about it by yourself, make small changes to your life, and do it quietly.
For example, I care about people dying from not having working organs, so I've been an organ doner for quite a while now. I don't rave about it because I know I'd be making a difference to another persons life at some point.
Why would you want to stampede around the street gibbering like a monkey?

I think this is the same principle.
Plus, protesting for whatever it is doesn't really make too much of a difference. All it does is bring attention to your cause. Yes, this is a good thing, especially if the cause is well justified.
But the same thing would apply if, for example, MPs were inundated with letters. They would have to address the issue, whether they liked it or not. A well worded letter is a far better channel than shouting about it and possible violence.

Police and Protesters
There are also added drawbacks. One is that some people will try to hijack a protest. Certain gangs for example. And they do this with the sole purpose of causing damage and being violent.
The other is that protesting wastes police time.
Which would you rather have? A) The police using their time to catch the real criminals (robbers, murderers, terrorists) or B) The police using their time to watch over an unruly crowd of normal people protesting about, say, cuts.

So really, what I'm saying is, why protest when there are other means of doing things? You'd just have to be a little more creative.
And also, is there really anything 'peaceful' about protesting?
I don't think so.

Some useful webpages:
-Your Rights- The Right to Peaceful Protest
-How to become an Organ Doner

Thursday, 3 February 2011

You are feeling sleepy...


What do you think when you hear that word?
I'm guessing most people would think of mind control, body control, no control in fact, and possibly relaxation. Maybe a way of telling you things that you didn't know about yourself.

But what is is really?

Well, the only part in the above description that was one hundred percent correct was a way of relaxing you. And the part about knowing yourself better.
The word Hypnosis derives from the Greek word Hypnos, who was the Greek god/personification of sleep.
Sigmund Freud
Hypnotism is usually used by those trained to do so as a form of therapy. Hypnotherapy in fact. Hypnotherapy can be used to treat problems such as weight issues, pain, alcohol and drug issues, behavioural issues, anxiety and depression,  phobias, etcetera.

Hypnotherapy was founded by Sigmund Freud, when he founded his psychoanalytical approach to psychology. (I know, he was a little crazy with the whole fancying your mother thing and dreaming about phallic symbols, but some good did come out of it. Like hypnotherapy and dream dictionaries. -come on, they are quite funny.)

I myself am undergoing hypnotherapy at my university and being honest, I think it may have helped. Only slightly, but then again, I haven't had many sessions.

But from my experience hypnotism takes you away to a place where only you can go to. It's the most wonderful, peaceful place you can think or dream of. And it's all yours. Mine, for example is a wood-surrounded garden filled with flowers, birds and butterflies. A sparkling river runs through it and the sun beats down. The gentle zephyrs carry only the fragrance of flowers, wood and late spring.
It's always nice to go to that place and just sit in the garden and think.

Hypnotism, of course has always had a bad reputation. Mainly because 'magicians' use it to supposedly trick people into doing things, or getting them to do things that they otherwise would not.
I think Derren Brown is probably a good name to drop here.

A common misconception is also that when you are 'under', it's difficult to get out. From my own experience I've found that this isn't the case. You are always aware of your surroundings, so much so it's sometimes hard to get into the right state, as even small noises can be a distraction.

Although I could tell you much about my own experiences, it's probably better left to the experts.
So, if you'd like more information I would recommend the following links:

The Hypnotherapy Association UK
Wikipedia's Extensive page on Hypnotherapy
US Hypnosis
Meditation Ideas

(please note that Wikipedia pages may not be 100% correct)

Tuesday, 1 February 2011

'Bofiloksms' - Why Books and Films don't mix.

Adapting books into films. You'd think that the film makers would have learned their lesson by now. Where has this seemingly endless fascination with adaptations come from?
Sure they'd realise by now that most of them are pretty much doomed to failure.
Especially if the book is a good one.

We'll take, for example Children's books.
Always irreversibly ruined by the film industry.
I give you here as examples Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson Series, Darren Shan's Cirque Du Freak Series and Christopher Paolini's Inheritance Cycle (Including Eragon) series. Of course, these adaptations are now virtually unheard of. A. Because they're a bit pants in comparison to the books and B. because they haven't even made a second film adaptation for any of these series.
Inkheart Book Cover.

Some are in fact horrifically massacred. A favourite of mine is the Inkworld Series by Cornelia Funke. It's set in a beautifully crafted world which absorbs the reader right into it, quite literally. The characters are lovable and interesting, with their bad sides on show for everyone to see. But the film version just takes the book and does a number 2 on it.
Brendan Fraser and Helen Mirren are fine in their own way, but they are definitely not at their best. The story completely lacks the ethereal beauty and description of the books and turns a novel into generic children's film. As I'm sure you can tell, I was not best pleased.

Saying this, some adaptations have been hugely successful. This includes J.K Rowling's Harry Potter, Stephanie Meyer's Twilight, J.R Tolkien's Lord of the Rings and C.S Lewis' The Chronicles of Narnia Franchises. Though some of these books are deemed of bad quality and little inspiration, the film have nevertheless been adored by millions of people around the world. Harry Potter and Twilight are always seen to be competing for both bad press and the headlines, fans seemingly both overjoyed and outraged at the differences between the books and the films of each.

Whereas the Chronicles of Narnia are a light read and watch, and in my opinion have the warmth, simplicity and charm you expect from an older styled book, reminiscent of Enid Blyton and Beatrix Potter.
Lord of the Rings, however was made into an adventure epic that seemed to overshadow the book, but missed out some of the more intricate and perhaps necessary plot points.

Some film adaptations have had me screaming at them. OK, quite a few. The Time Machine, for example, had me raging at it's incapability to be even remotely based on the interesting H.G Wells novella. Once you've plodded your way through the obscure wording and far-reaching concepts you really want the film to be slightly like it. The film, instead, was a study on a man trying to bring back his loved one, but ending up going into the future and trying to help a future race.
Yes, this is vaguely the storyline of the book, except the future race are very, very different and there is no loved one. He travels simply for the knowledge and excitement.

Also an interesting, rather than good adaptation of the same kind is The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. I was put off of the film automatically because it seemed to me to be trying to make the story too action-y. And the ending was a far cry from the events of the book, but still a good one. Ben Barnes would not have been my choice for Dorian either, his character lacks the subtlety that I would have liked. Not a film I would see again.

The three Alice's. 1.Book
2. Original Disney Cartoon
3. Tim Burton Disney film
Perhaps one of the best adaptations I have seen would be Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. It captures the devilish and oddball side of the story that the older Disney version lacks. Although not sticking to the original stories, it doesn't need to. It's a new story about Alice, and a good one at that. (Also see Lewis Carrols Alice's Adventures in Wonderland)

One area I haven't covered yet, mainly because it's so trashily awful, is the comic book genre. Spiderman, Superman, Watchmen, Catwoman, X-Men, Fantastic Four, Batman, Iron Man.. you name it, it's been ruined.
The film versions of comics are always going to be a little crap with a general mixing of story lines. Mainly because the story lines of comics changes so much. But when they get something really wrong, it makes comic geeks out there furious. And the hugely successful Spiderman franchise is an example of this. It doesn't follow story lines and the characters are out of place and sometimes just plain wrong.
Most of these comic based films completely miss out on their fan base because they don't use the better story lines, the characters are one-sided and are more child-oriented than their comic counterparts.

And perhaps some other good ones are more of the older style books. Such as Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and Bram Stoker's Dracula, depending on which versions you choose. But generally these book make good films because of their originality. The way that they can be adapted in a variety of ways that still makes sense.

If you watch these adapted films alone, they're OK, sure. But when you read the book your estimation of them just crashes down around your feet. It's very rare to find a film that matches up to the book, let alone is better than it, although for me Narnia comes close.
Although most films seem to bare no resemblance to their book counterparts, here the Guardian lists some films that apparently do:  Guardian's Top 50 good adaptations - This includes Alice in Wonderland, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Sin City, Dangerous Liaisons and The Remains of the Day.

On the other hand here is A list of 20 Good Books made into awful Movies. This includes Bicentennial Man, Stardust (a favourite book, and a horrifically child-oriented film), The Shining, Breakfast at Tiffany's (Although there is some debate about that one, some say it's brilliant, and some say it's awful), The Black Cauldron and a Mention of other classics such as The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Mary Poppins.

 So there you have it. Books and films just don't mix. You know it. I know it.
So a notice to film studios everywhere: Just don't do it. And if you do, make sure it's a rubbish book that you can make better.


This blog was written with inspiration from http://empire500.blogspot.com/ - A blog reviewing films from Empire Magazines 500 5 Star Rated films of all time. Thank you :).

And for those who read this only to see if there was a picture of twilight.. I'll give in to your needs. Only this picture will be a nice, natural picture. Shirts on:
There you go. I hope you're happy.

 OK, I lied completely, but he does have a very chiseled body.
 (All images from a google search)

Thursday, 20 January 2011

I Can Seeeeee Youuuu. But no, seriously, you're right here on my screen.

For many many years we've all been watched. Every single day of our lives.
Some say its part of social control, part of our own security and sometimes just for laughs.
CCTV for example, is widely used these days. And I know sometimes when you spot a camera when you head into a shop or on a train you suddenly remember. And you know behind that lens theres someone in a room watching you. Creepy. But yes, apparently this is for our safety. Well, it is. Helps the police track criminals, gives you a nice mug shot of them, and helps to identify both victims/witnesses and suspects. This is obviously all good, as long as you're not the one who committed said crime.
(Click Here for Police and CCTV information)

Not something I'd want to be caught doing on google earth.

But as long as we know there's someone watching us, we can't be ourselves. Even in the so-called privacy of our homes we aren't getting that much privacy. With invasive reality TV shows like Big Brother, Meet the Parents, etc there's even less privacy. I guess people just like to watch other people squirm.
Then there's Google Earth (or Google maps). Of course, its wonderful looking at the places you'd love to go on a map of the world, sightseeing from your own room. Cool. But not so cool if you happened to be down that street when the photo was taken, especially if you're doing something you shouldn't have.
Also you can actually vaguely see through the windows of houses. Creepy. Makes you want to close your curtains forever.

Actually the thing I don't get is why anyone would want to put themselves through the fear of being watched and not having the basic right to privacy by going in the Big Brother house. Thankfully its done and dusted now, but really?  Who'd want to be watched every second of their day.

Big Brother 5 Logo
- I never knew they were all different..
 And the people who watch are just as bad. Why watch a person sleeping? It's like being a crazy stalker from a distance.

Privacy is something I wish we could all have, but unfortunately the world doesn't work that way. Cameras are there to do all these supposedly good things but they just make you squirm over all.

Something that may be interesting perhaps would be to ask this: What would it be like to have a world with real privacy. Not being watched all day, and knowing you weren't.
Maybe it'd be like the past? Or maybe a thing of the future? (Although I very much doubt that..)

Tuesday, 11 January 2011

Being Examined Isn't All It's Cracked Up To Be

And as if the first week properly back from uni isn't enough to make you squirm in your seat, there's always the added dilemma of exams to revise for and presentations to prepare.

This is what this week is all about, and it's only Tuesday.

Yesterday the first essay of this side of the year was due in. This essay was the complete and utter death of me. How do you write 3000 words on how the police have become politicised specifically by the modern dilemmas of public order policing?  Such a stupid question. But I'd picked it, and there was no turning back.

Today was exam number one of 2011. Train Wreck are the most favourable two words I can think of.
That and Apocalypse-esque Catastrophe. It may be dramatic, but I don't feel especially confident.
Then again I've found that whenever you do feel confident you usually haven't done as well as you hope you have.

So the week or terror is upon me.

I am being a little over dramatic, I'll admit.
But what's the fun in being boring.. How would 'the week of a couple of  presentations, an exam, and an essay and then its over' grab you? It wouldn't. Plus that doesn't sound too bad either. But it really really is.

I can never understand the people who don't get nervous about exams, essays or presentations. They 've got to be either ridiculously confident about their abilities or completely unable to feel anything remotely like worry.
My friend was one of these. He said that he never got nervous because he didn't care. I bet he did care though. When he got good marks he sure cared..
Yes.. anyway, yeah, I don't get it. Surely everyone gets a bit funny about these things. Maybe only a little bit, or maybe so much its a phobia. But I'm sure we do.

Personally, the most nervous I get is in presentations. On the outside I try to look as comfortable and confident as I possibly can but on the inside my insides have turned to jelly, my brain to mush and my heart is hammering like a ... a really fast drum. That will do.  I do manage it though. Far better than I used to. (Although I owe that at least in part to the hypnotherapy I've been getting, it seems to have worked for me).

You know some people are really stressed most of the time? I don't think I could do that. I'm stressed now and it's making me ill. Seriously. I couldn't eat much today. Which is exceptionally weird because i utterly love my food. Whatever form its in. Love it. But today I tried to eat a butterscotch pudding and just felt sick. Horrible.

On the up side, after this week its seminars and lectures as usual and the possibility of Mondays and Fridays off. :D
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