Friday, 16 March 2012

Apocalypse, Now?

At the end of this year, according to Mayans, the world is going to end.
You know, poisonous gases, massive explosions, the world flooding and us having to cram ourselves into and Ark again, maybe some giant hailstones and a meteorite, a random government deciding to assassinate the whole of Europe, or an alien invasion. The whole shebang.

But whatever conspiracy theory or apocalyptic episode is going to happen, it's supposed to happen loudly and rudely. In our faces.

There's nothing quite like spreading a panic throughout the entire world.
Recently there have been more and more of these ideas. Ranging from post-apocalyptic dystopian novels to films involving a world-wide epidemic (Contagion), a giant flood and general weather disasters (2012) and zombie apocalypses (the up and coming Warm Bodies, based upon a book, and World War Z). Oh, and aliens (Skyline). 
The four horsemen, courtesy of Wikipedia.
But the ones in Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's
'Good Omens' are far superior. Sorry.
But then, there are always these kinds of fears. Take swine flu, bird flu, climate change, terrorist attacks and so on..
It's all out there, and since when are we affected by it? Some people are, I know. It's happened in the country I live in, yes. But generally, these things don't happen to laypeople.

It's a lot like Crime. People don't tend to get murdered very often, but people still worry about it when they're out at night, walk past a dark alley and so on. I do it too.
But I take a large umbrella to defend myself in case it does ever happen. (It's very useful, not only for the occasional blast of rain).

We don't need to worry so much.

So to get to my eventual point. Please, don't worry. Enjoy your life because you don't know when the time will come that you can't. Although It'll most likely be quite a way into the future. 

And if the world does end later this year, at least we'll all be able to see 'The Hobbit' before it does.

Monday, 12 March 2012

Cats are Pure Evil.

I hate Cats.

It's true. They are the incarnation of pure evil. They loiter in alleyways, trying to size you up, licking their lips and claws, ready to pounce.
They leap at you, trying to shred you to death with their knife-like claws, and purposefully cause you bad luck by walking in front of you. (And it IS purposeful, mark my words).

Cats also hate us. They do. You can see it in their eyes. They think we're pathetic- this is why we must banish them from our houses.

Their only use is to eradicate vermin smaller than themselves, that's is when they're not lounging around, stealing our rays of sun and eating our food.

The one exception in the cat world happens to be an animated cat, voiced by Antonio Banderas. He is also exceedingly annoying, but nevertheless Puss in Boots in the Shrek films is the only cat that I like. This is probably because he is animated, and therefore not real. It is also probably because he has a Spanish accent, which is always nice. And then there's the cute face. Nobody could resist that face.
The fact is, real cats do not have that face. If they did, they wouldn't use it either. This is because they don't care.

Then there's Cat Man. But he cannot be classified as a cat, because he is really a human. So we like him, as he's pretty awesome.

Ancient Egyptians have a lot to answer for really. They loved cats, worshiped them and so on. Frankly, it's weird. Although, Cats are mysteriously regal, so I can see what they were enamored by. (Which would also explain why they always seem to be looking down their noses at us.)

Please join me in disliking Cats. I would deeply appreciate it.

Jog on, Kitties.

Sunday, 11 March 2012

How To Make a 'Bangin' Pasta Bake.

I feel extremely big-headed saying this, but I make the best pasta bake in existence. No other pasta bakes can compare. So I'm going to share with you the secret of the best pasta bake in the world.

There are two secrets. One is in the sauce, one is literally heaps and heaps of cheese.

So. You will need (roughly):
- A mound of dry pasta (in any shape you like, but I like the bows or the twizzles) about 3 cups worth.
- 1 jar of Homepride creamy tomato and herb pasta bake sauce.
- A pepper, or a third of three different types of peppers. Personally I enjoy green, red and yellow.
- One small onion.
- a pinch of garlic powder/ a tiny clove of garlic.
- Lots of cheese.
THIS is how delicious your pasta could look.
From nomoneynocry (link at bottom of page)

- a medium sized saucepan
- a strainer
- a grater
- a shallow ovenproof dish.
- knife, spoons, cutlery to eat with, etc.

This recipe feeds two very hungry people.

1. Cook the pasta, with water, in a saucepan. Pretty obvious, but most recipes don't tell you to do this. I find it's much easier and tastier when the pasta has already been cooked before it's placed into the ovenproof dish.

1+1/2. preheat oven at 200 degrees Celsius.

2. While the pasta is cooking chop up the pepper/s and onion. Plonk it in the ovenproof dish, add some garlic powder and any other herbs and spices you think will go down nicely.

3. When the pasta is cooked, drain it and then mix it in with the vegetables in the ovenproof dish. Now pour in the sauce (it's delicious) and stir.

4. Grab your cheese block and grate it away over the top of the pasta/vegetable/sauce. Make sure to cover it all over. Lots of cheese makes it so, so good.

5. Place your dish in the oven and leave until the cheese has melted and gone a goldeny colour. Usually takes about 20-30 minutes.

6. Eat the most amazing pasta bake ever. You won't regret it. I promise. (That is, unless you don't like an ingredient in it.)

For other Homepride Recipes, there are lots on the website.
Click HERE for further details.

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