Thursday, 6 April 2017

Living with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome - An Invisible Illness

Image from Google
I have been living with a mild form of Chronic Fatigue for 3 years.

The worst part about it is not that I'm tired the entire time, it's not the aches and pains, it's not the fact that I have to rest after doing any physical activity or anything remotely strenuous.
The worst part is that it is an invisible illness that people don't take seriously, not even some doctors.

If I say that I'm really tired today, what I actually mean is that it's a struggle to do things today. It was a massive task to get myself out of bed. To drive to work took a lot of willpower. My legs feel like jelly and the headache I didn't think would get worse has, as I should have known, got worse.

It is so hard to hear people saying "oh yeah I'm really tired too, I did so many hours work this week" knowing they're thinking that I won't be nearly as tired as they are because I've only done half the hours they've worked. The fact is that I could work for just 5 hours a week and it will affect me. In the evening all I'll want to do is sleep, but I know it won't help because I never feel refreshed when I wake up.

I can't do as many activities as people want me to do because I know that if I do it I might have to take a day off work to recover because I can't get out of bed.

If I have, let's say, a day out, I have to rest the next day, and in the evening, just to feel normal again. Only my version of normal is not your version of normal. My version is still tired, with low energy.

But there are good days. Some days I almost feel my old self again. I feel like I could do anything. Those are the good patches. Sometimes I even can do things and not feel completely drained afterwards. Those are the days I live for.

Image from Google
I remember being able to do things and not feel tired. I think that is one of the worst things about it. But I still hope that one day I'll be able to get back to that. One day I'll be able to feel invigorated by exercise. One day I'll be able to have a day out and drive home afterwards and feel fine. One day.

These are just some thoughts on the matter.
Hopefully, it'll help bring some awareness to those who read it, or for those experiencing something similar, it's always nice to have people who understand.
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