A to Z: Zombies

It's the very last day of the A to Z April challenge, and therefore also the last day of April. Hopefully some warmer weather is to come during May.

I know, I know, everyone and their dog is doing Zombies for the last of this challenge, but hell, I couldn't pass up on a Zombie Apocalypse now could I?

So today I'm doing a how to post, and hopefully you'll find it interesting, amusing, and in the case of a real zombie apocalypse, useful.

Cute Zombie, from Shutterstock.com

How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse in 5 Easy Steps.

1. All good brits know how to scimp and hoarde, so the first way of surviving is to make sure you have plenty of cans and food that won't go off for a while, as well as biscuits and portable snacks. If there's only cans, for god's sake don't forget your trusty can opener ( preferably not an electric one, in case that's disturbed).

2. Keep heavy artillery in the larder/basement/attic/cellar/laundry room. You never know when a zombie could try to break in. Also keep things you could use as weapons (like bread knives, rounders bats - they're fatter and shorter than baseball bats, so you'll be able to knock them down easier- paint guns, a scalpel and so on) around the house, just in case. Or spend some time thinking of things you could use as a weapon. Perhaps that strimmer in your garage might work to keep them back?

3. Hang out with someone who doesn't stand a chance against zombies, or who runs slower than you. They could be the difference between life and death. Make sure it's someone you don't actually like, otherwise you'll spend all your time going back for them or fighting off zombies and no time doing important things, like escaping.

4. Make sure you have a good escape plan. If it's rubbish you will die. Maybe try to escape to the outer hebrides or something.

5. Bring a large dog. Along similar lines to a person who runs slower, but a dog will go for an attack and could actually keep the zombies busy for a long time. Unless they're lazy.

Last but not least, don't get killed or run out of food, or you're a goner.

I hope that brightens up your day with the thought of an impending zombie apocalypse, it sure did mine.

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this blog challenge as much as I did.

Apocalypse, Now?

At the end of this year, according to Mayans, the world is going to end.
You know, poisonous gases, massive explosions, the world flooding and us having to cram ourselves into and Ark again, maybe some giant hailstones and a meteorite, a random government deciding to assassinate the whole of Europe, or an alien invasion. The whole shebang.

But whatever conspiracy theory or apocalyptic episode is going to happen, it's supposed to happen loudly and rudely. In our faces.

There's nothing quite like spreading a panic throughout the entire world.
Recently there have been more and more of these ideas. Ranging from post-apocalyptic dystopian novels to films involving a world-wide epidemic (Contagion), a giant flood and general weather disasters (2012) and zombie apocalypses (the up and coming Warm Bodies, based upon a book, and World War Z). Oh, and aliens (Skyline). 

The four horsemen, courtesy of Wikipedia.
But the ones in Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's
'Good Omens' are far superior. Sorry.

But then, there are always these kinds of fears. Take swine flu, bird flu, climate change, terrorist attacks and so on..
It's all out there, and since when are we affected by it? Some people are, I know. It's happened in the country I live in, yes. But generally, these things don't happen to laypeople.

It's a lot like Crime. People don't tend to get murdered very often, but people still worry about it when they're out at night, walk past a dark alley and so on. I do it too.
But I take a large umbrella to defend myself in case it does ever happen. (It's very useful, not only for the occasional blast of rain).

We don't need to worry so much.

So to get to my eventual point. Please, don't worry. Enjoy your life because you don't know when the time will come that you can't. Although It'll most likely be quite a way into the future. 

And if the world does end later this year, at least we'll all be able to see 'The Hobbit' before it does.