Apocalypse, Now?

At the end of this year, according to Mayans, the world is going to end.
You know, poisonous gases, massive explosions, the world flooding and us having to cram ourselves into and Ark again, maybe some giant hailstones and a meteorite, a random government deciding to assassinate the whole of Europe, or an alien invasion. The whole shebang.

But whatever conspiracy theory or apocalyptic episode is going to happen, it's supposed to happen loudly and rudely. In our faces.

There's nothing quite like spreading a panic throughout the entire world.
Recently there have been more and more of these ideas. Ranging from post-apocalyptic dystopian novels to films involving a world-wide epidemic (Contagion), a giant flood and general weather disasters (2012) and zombie apocalypses (the up and coming Warm Bodies, based upon a book, and World War Z). Oh, and aliens (Skyline). 

The four horsemen, courtesy of Wikipedia.
But the ones in Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's
'Good Omens' are far superior. Sorry.

But then, there are always these kinds of fears. Take swine flu, bird flu, climate change, terrorist attacks and so on..
It's all out there, and since when are we affected by it? Some people are, I know. It's happened in the country I live in, yes. But generally, these things don't happen to laypeople.

It's a lot like Crime. People don't tend to get murdered very often, but people still worry about it when they're out at night, walk past a dark alley and so on. I do it too.
But I take a large umbrella to defend myself in case it does ever happen. (It's very useful, not only for the occasional blast of rain).

We don't need to worry so much.

So to get to my eventual point. Please, don't worry. Enjoy your life because you don't know when the time will come that you can't. Although It'll most likely be quite a way into the future. 

And if the world does end later this year, at least we'll all be able to see 'The Hobbit' before it does.

Cats are Pure Evil.

I hate Cats.

It's true. They are the incarnation of pure evil. They loiter in alleyways, trying to size you up, licking their lips and claws, ready to pounce.
They leap at you, trying to shred you to death with their knife-like claws, and purposefully cause you bad luck by walking in front of you. (And it IS purposeful, mark my words).

Cats also hate us. They do. You can see it in their eyes. They think we're pathetic- this is why we must banish them from our houses.

Their only use is to eradicate vermin smaller than themselves, that's is when they're not lounging around, stealing our rays of sun and eating our food.

The one exception in the cat world happens to be an animated cat, voiced by Antonio Banderas. He is also exceedingly annoying, but nevertheless Puss in Boots in the Shrek films is the only cat that I like. This is probably because he is animated, and therefore not real. It is also probably because he has a Spanish accent, which is always nice. And then there's the cute face. Nobody could resist that face.
The fact is, real cats do not have that face. If they did, they wouldn't use it either. This is because they don't care.

Then there's Cat Man. But he cannot be classified as a cat, because he is really a human. So we like him, as he's pretty awesome.

Ancient Egyptians have a lot to answer for really. They loved cats, worshiped them and so on. Frankly, it's weird. Although, Cats are mysteriously regal, so I can see what they were enamored by. (Which would also explain why they always seem to be looking down their noses at us.)

Please join me in disliking Cats. I would deeply appreciate it.

Jog on, Kitties.

How To Make a 'Bangin' Pasta Bake.

I feel extremely big-headed saying this, but I make the best pasta bake in existence. No other pasta bakes can compare. So I'm going to share with you the secret of the best pasta bake in the world.

There are two secrets. One is in the sauce, one is literally heaps and heaps of cheese.

So. You will need (roughly):
- A mound of dry pasta (in any shape you like, but I like the bows or the twizzles) about 3 cups worth.
- 1 jar of Homepride creamy tomato and herb pasta bake sauce.
- A pepper, or a third of three different types of peppers. Personally I enjoy green, red and yellow.
- One small onion.
- a pinch of garlic powder/ a tiny clove of garlic.
- Lots of cheese.

THIS is how delicious your pasta could look.
From nomoneynocry (link at bottom of page)

- a medium sized saucepan
- a strainer
- a grater
- a shallow ovenproof dish.
- knife, spoons, cutlery to eat with, etc.

This recipe feeds two very hungry people.

1. Cook the pasta, with water, in a saucepan. Pretty obvious, but most recipes don't tell you to do this. I find it's much easier and tastier when the pasta has already been cooked before it's placed into the ovenproof dish.

1+1/2. preheat oven at 200 degrees Celsius.

2. While the pasta is cooking chop up the pepper/s and onion. Plonk it in the ovenproof dish, add some garlic powder and any other herbs and spices you think will go down nicely.

3. When the pasta is cooked, drain it and then mix it in with the vegetables in the ovenproof dish. Now pour in the sauce (it's delicious) and stir.

4. Grab your cheese block and grate it away over the top of the pasta/vegetable/sauce. Make sure to cover it all over. Lots of cheese makes it so, so good.

5. Place your dish in the oven and leave until the cheese has melted and gone a goldeny colour. Usually takes about 20-30 minutes.

6. Eat the most amazing pasta bake ever. You won't regret it. I promise. (That is, unless you don't like an ingredient in it.)

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For other Homepride Recipes, there are lots on the website.
Click HERE for further details.

Picture: http://knowmoneynocry.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/pasta-bake.jpg

Weee're off the see the... pyramids?

Travelling is something I have always wanted to do.
And it's something I'm incredibly proud of having done too.

England

But to be honest, there's a lot of places I still need/want to go to. (And I WILL be giving you a quick 'Top 5' list at the end of this post.)

Travelling can be defined in two ways: Leisure and business. You don't want the business option. This is because usually you get a swanky hotel, but you have to work whilst trying to drink in the rays of sunshine. Or maybe visiting a major landmark isn't quite so goiod whilst wearing a suit.

But normal leisure holidays are bliss aren't they? Wait, do I hear you say no? Why?

Travelling can be an utter nightmare.
First there's the packing. Oh the dreadful packing. You never know what the weather will be like, so don't know what kind of clothes to bring. I know I always end up taking more than I should just because I may need a Jumper/Anorak/Scarf/Extra skirt.
Then there's the getting there. Whether it's flying, driving, ferry-ing, cycling or ballooning, something will always go wrong. Someone will always be on the late side, or perhaps the car is out of water, or maybe someone forgot something and you're already half way to the airport. But something always happens. (And it usually happens to me.)

Czech Republic

Luggage. When you pick up your luggage at the end of a flight. That's the bit I most dread. It's terrifying. What would happen if it was too heavy and you ended up going around on the travelator? Or what if your luggage mysteriously vanishes or was sent to a completely different place? Not. Good.


Hotels/hostels/B+Bs. General Accomodation. These are sometimes are the worst part of a holiday. Although if you look around enough, definitely looking at reviews and check beforehand hopefully this matter wouldn't have to be adressed. But yes, some holidays are completely ruined by the accommodation, be it by loud and awful neighbours, or mould-infested bathrooms. But if you complain enough about the state of your room there's always a chance you could get it for free, or money off.

Washington D.C

The actual holiday. Not only do the people sometimes annoy you (what with the usual tiny annoyances, and then the larger debates on where to go, what to do, who has to sleep in the double bed together and so on) but there's bugs, pills to take, amount of sun tan lotion to have on you, whether you require more money than initially planned. Many things that could potentially go wrong. We all hope they don't, but most likely they will.
But hopefully, your holidays always go exceedingly well, with not a hitch in sight. (Apart from the general holiday stress).



Top 5 Places I NEED to visit.
1. Peru (Aztec Buildings... need I say more?)
2. Norway (To watch the lovely Aurora Borealis (Northern Lights)
3. Colorado (Which is apparently beautiful) or Alaska.
4. Gibraltar (It's where one half of my family is from)
5. Thailand (well, why not?)

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ALL pictures used in this post are my own pictures.

Doctor... Who?

Doctors. You can say a lot about them.
There are a heck of a lot of types: eye doctors, teeth doctors (also known as dentists.. please see my other post depicting how evil they are. Right HERE), child doctors (paediatricians, not to be confused with paedos), woman doctors (Gynaecologists, not to be confused with.. er.. a Gyroscope?), witch doctors, Doctor Who, Dr. Seuss, Dr. Phil. Yeah.

So it's interesting. And soon I'll be having to waltz into the reception, ask about my appointment, wait for my appointment and then walk gloomily into the room to have my eyes poked and prodded, only to be told, most likely, that not a lot can be done about it.
Which is pretty much what happens every time anybody goes to the doctors.
That or they ply you with some drugs and tell you to come back if they:
A. Don't work
B.Work too well OR
C. Run out.

But on a good note, Doctor Who, the famous Television series and film franchise, is really really good. I think that this redeems Doctors no end.

Seriously though, Doctors have to go through one heck of a lot. First training.. which is many years, then actually dealing with patients? Some being major hypochondriacs and others just having sore heads. And the weird thing people get stuck in their passages, no thank you. So I have a lot of respect for doctors.
And they always have to look at the worst parts of a human. All infected and gross.

Obviously, it must be incredibly rewarding when you cure a person of a disease, or save a life, or perform a heart transplant, or generally make a persons' life better.  But would you want that much responsibility?

And then there's nurses. The ones that get all the jobs the doctors hate, or are too busy to do. And work their butts off (although obviously not all of them) just for the news to say it's rubbish? So I feel for them too.

So yes. Doctors and Nurses.
A great theme for a party, but a great job?
I'm not so sure.

Five is the magic number, actually.

So, I've decided on some top 5's of everything.
Films, Books, People, Inventions, Natural Wonders, Places, Trees, Paintings, Toys.. you name it.

And today, we're looking at Inventions.
Inventions are, most obviously, exceedingly important to our lives. And pretty much everything has been invented, except for natural materials.. trees..mountains and such. So I've decided what my favourite inventions are. The Top Five.

5. Mobile Phones. Yes, I know it's probably a little cliche now, but I shall never again take my mobile phone for granted. I was without it for one day and didn't know the time, didn't have anything to avoid people in town asking me questions, and I didn't know what my boyfriend may have text me. It was weird.

4. Games. Without games I would be constantly bored. I don't mean just things like playing on the Wii or DS or something, I mean proper games too. Board games, Card games. Everything. And I guess a few Sports games.

3. Houses. Always nice to have somewhere solid to live. Couldn't live in one of those huts or a tent or something. Saying this, an occasional Tepee might be alright.

2. The Internet. (And Computers) Otherwise I wouldn't even be posting this. No Messaging, no emailing, no gaming, no awesome software, no quick music downloads. You get the jist. And it's far easier typing up an essay on this thing than writing it all up. And spellchecking is a lifesaver.

1. Electricity. Also perhaps cliche, but extraordinarily useful. We can power cookers, shavers, computers, TVs, Lights, Appliances, Chargers, Fridges. All sorts. And this is why Electricity is my favourite invention. Also, you can make awful Watt jokes with it.

Inventions: Clever. Innovative. Genius.
And we don't even have an underwater city yet.

But we do have flying cars.
Always a good thing.

Food for Thought. And Talent, apparently.

Browsing the weird news sites yet again for your enjoyment, I found something pretty darn cool.
China's got Talent.

It does. It really does. In the form of 23-year-old Bai Den Chun. He cuts cucumbers with playing cards. And seriously, it's pretty impressive.
The article for this was found at the Telegraph online AND they have a video of him cutting the cucumber.
To read and watch click THIS LINK.
At least he's not cutting the cheese, eh? (Yes, I know that was absolutely awful.)

Nathan, Toast and Marmite. From google.

But it doesn't stop there.
This only reminds me of a recent Britains Got Talent entry, 21-year-old  Nathan Wyburn, who artfully painted the judge and comedian Michael McIntyre's face onto pieces of toast using Marmite. Pretty impressive.
Even thought Marmite isn't the nicest spread. I reckon he should have gone for Peanut Butter or Jam.
For those who prefer a real news story to my anecdotes, HERE's the link to the Sun's version. (But you should prefer mine.)

Also, for the more chocolate loving of us (you know who you are) I found a wonderful invention. A car powered by chocolate. It's also partially made out of other foods such as potatoes and soy beans. The best part though, is the steering wheel made from carrots. Yes, I was a bit incredulous too. But seriously. Here's the LINK to prove it.
It's greener at least. Or.. Browner. (I know, I'll stop with the seriously crap puns and gags, but come on, some of them are kind of funny.. A bit.)

So there's your update on weird food news. I don't know why, but weird news with food as the subject, I just like it. And food is always good.

The Horror of Second Year Halls #2

You'd think one was bad enough right?

But upon living in second year halls for a year, I've discovered a whole new batch of catastrophe's.

First and foremost is the leaky toilet. Discovered only yesterday when I realised there was a large puddle building up behind the toilet. Which is lovely.
At first I thought it was my flatmate, water absolutely everywhere, no idea why.. and it could have culminated behind the toilet, right?
Upon looking this morning, I came to the conclusion that no, she's not quite as messy as I first thought.

Secondly the lovely mildew and mould in the shower. That's always nice. Because of the mould and general wearing away of the stuff that's supposed to seal the shower, it is now also as leaky as the toilet. If not, leakier. Although only when you've had a shower. There's just a nice little pool of water on the floor. Lovely.

Then there was a fire alarm this morning, and my flatmate moving out on Sunday night when I had an exam on Monday. All sorts of enjoyable things about second year halls.

But to be honest, a house can be just as bad as halls.  Except with less people to piss you off, but in much closer proximity. And there isn't cleaners to clear up their mess.