Tuesday, 11 January 2011

Being Examined Isn't All It's Cracked Up To Be

And as if the first week properly back from uni isn't enough to make you squirm in your seat, there's always the added dilemma of exams to revise for and presentations to prepare.

This is what this week is all about, and it's only Tuesday.

Yesterday the first essay of this side of the year was due in. This essay was the complete and utter death of me. How do you write 3000 words on how the police have become politicised specifically by the modern dilemmas of public order policing?  Such a stupid question. But I'd picked it, and there was no turning back.

Today was exam number one of 2011. Train Wreck are the most favourable two words I can think of.
That and Apocalypse-esque Catastrophe. It may be dramatic, but I don't feel especially confident.
Then again I've found that whenever you do feel confident you usually haven't done as well as you hope you have.

So the week or terror is upon me.

I am being a little over dramatic, I'll admit.
But what's the fun in being boring.. How would 'the week of a couple of  presentations, an exam, and an essay and then its over' grab you? It wouldn't. Plus that doesn't sound too bad either. But it really really is.

I can never understand the people who don't get nervous about exams, essays or presentations. They 've got to be either ridiculously confident about their abilities or completely unable to feel anything remotely like worry.
My friend was one of these. He said that he never got nervous because he didn't care. I bet he did care though. When he got good marks he sure cared..
Yes.. anyway, yeah, I don't get it. Surely everyone gets a bit funny about these things. Maybe only a little bit, or maybe so much its a phobia. But I'm sure we do.

Personally, the most nervous I get is in presentations. On the outside I try to look as comfortable and confident as I possibly can but on the inside my insides have turned to jelly, my brain to mush and my heart is hammering like a ... a really fast drum. That will do.  I do manage it though. Far better than I used to. (Although I owe that at least in part to the hypnotherapy I've been getting, it seems to have worked for me).

You know some people are really stressed most of the time? I don't think I could do that. I'm stressed now and it's making me ill. Seriously. I couldn't eat much today. Which is exceptionally weird because i utterly love my food. Whatever form its in. Love it. But today I tried to eat a butterscotch pudding and just felt sick. Horrible.

On the up side, after this week its seminars and lectures as usual and the possibility of Mondays and Fridays off. :D

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