How to Ace Graduation.

I've been waiting for this moment for a long, long time. Ever since primary school in fact when a teacher told my mum that me and my sister could go to University.

Since then it's kind of been a one way ticket to Graduation. Having completed my degree in the summer, getting a modest class degree in what people appear to think is a weird subject for me to do (Criminology with Psychology), I feel pretty darn proud I must say.

And the best part was the day. One of those few days when it feels like it's all about you. For normal people, this is every single birthday, however, being a twin this has never really been the case. It's always OUR birthday, and always will be, so that ones out of the picture.

Only this day I got to share it with my fellow coursemates and friends, and my family, and had a lot of fun.

So, the outfit. That's what people want to know about, right? And whether I tripped. I can tell you that I DID NOT trip, surprising as that may be.

This is what I wore:

On knowing that the gown had purple on it, I went and clashed it with my bright yellow dress. Well, you have to stand out don't you? (However you can barely see the yellow, which is probably a good thing as it could easily blind you.)
A tip would definitely be to wear something that goes with the colour of your graduation gown. Most people wore the basic black and white, or both, but some wore blue which worked really well.
However others wore red and burgundy (Oxblood) and it just looked terrible.

I think the picture shows that stage and amount of people watching rather well too. My heart was beating ridiculously fast.

So here are the tips for Ace-ing Graduation:

1. Bring safety pins and hair clips. You'll probably need them to keep the gown and hat on. Most people did.

2. Give yourself plenty of time to get there. Because it's bound to be busy, especially in a city like mine. Also, time to get your gown and make it to the venue. We left 3 hours before the start of the ceremony and I think we probably should have left a little earlier (that is including 30-40 odd minutes to get there though).

3. Don't worry. You'll be told everything beforehand, so you'll be fine. I'm a worrier anyway though, so even on stage I was worried about my handshake.

4. Don't forget your camera! Take loads of pictures, because this may be the only time you graduate. I don't think I want to go back to education any time soon. I didn't get nearly enough pictures of my day.
Do the hat toss. I didn't and I am slightly disappointed in myself for it.

5. If you're a woman, don't wear shoes you can't walk in (and/or that don't fit properly) because you will regret it. For my sisters I wore shoes that rub a little. Not good when you're walking and standing up a lot.

6. Have fun! or, if everything is going completely wrong, which it most likely won't,  keep smiling.

How to blag University.

Blagging University is not as easy as it sounds. Upon almost finishing my third and final year, I have learnt a lot about the art of blagging, how to avoid salespeople, looking like you're doing something important when you're not, spouting words that sound good when you have no idea what you're talking about, and going to lectures after having hardly any sleep and probably still being a bit drunk.
I'm pretty sure anybody who has been, or currently goes to University knows the feeling.

You will need:
-One very powerful liver.
-An excessive amount of patience.
-A can-do attitude (if you do not have this you will need more patience).
-Skills in lying, personal defence, hypochondria, insomnia amongst others.
-To overcome the hatred of the library that school and college inflicted upon you.
-Knowledge of microwaves and washing machines (or copious amounts of credit on your phone so that you can ring your parents/friends/999 for help).
-A good imagination (for when you're asked any questions at all).


In order to be a good guide on how to get through Uni without failing at life, I will now tell you a few how to's that you will need. Definitely.

1. How to make yourself sound knowledgeable when you don't know what you're talking about.
- Use long words, with complex sentences. (maybe by spending a few minutes wikipedia-ing some awesome sounding words, maybe even something to do with your subject.)
- Go on about it for a few paragraphs. This way everybody gets a little confused and probably won't bother with you again for a while.
There is a downfall to this approach. You may be asked to say it again in simpler terms. If this happens, I have a fail safe:
- Change the subject. You can do this by saying something along the lines of 'As relevant as that is, I think this...' And then hope you get away with it. Or, you could say that it is irrelevant because of something else, then make something up again.

Of course, this is more useful if you have a good imagination. If you don't, I suggest you try to know the answer to the question. or something about the subject.


2. How to eat junk food and not feel guilty.

This one is easy. When you're drunk you don't feel guilty at all.
The other option for the more health-conscious of you is to balance out your meals. Be sure you include lots of fruit and veg so you don't get scurvy and such, and allow yourself a 'treat' of something outrageously delicious and fatty every few weeks.
If you're like me and have a sweet tooth, eat something savoury and a bit more healthy first. You'll feel better. I promise.
Another option is to be ridiculously fastidious and eat healthily all the time. Then you have absolutely no need to feel guilty in the first place.

3. How to get yourself served quickly in a bar/club.
Girls: Lean over the counter a little, preferably with some boob showing if you want to get served by a man. Give them the eye too. And smile. Don't forget to smile.
This doesn't work on other girls, gay men or straight men that prefer flat chested females, they will just think you're a hussy and won't serve you.
With other girls, gay men or straight men who prefer flat chested girls, just wait there and smile when they come your way.


Guys: Acquire an air of not caring whether you get served. This way you might start to believe it.
To be quite honest I'm not sure there's a way to get yourself served quicker than usual, unless you've got some rippling muscles tucked away under a tight shirt. As usual, this won't often work on straight men, or on women or gay men who prefer men who aren't ripped. If you aren't that muscular, you're in with more of a chance with them.


4. How to get rid of stress.Stressed? I'm not surprised. Well, to be honest i can't help you. Just calm the hell down and don't give yourself a hernia. But, I will give you some useful websites. I'm not all bad.
DeStress - a website for all your stress-free needs.
Unconventional (ie. Weird) ways to de-stress. 
Keep Calm Gallery.
Get a Reality Check - Seriously, the universe is huge, and you're worrying about one tiny exam?

And there you have it. A not so useful guide to blagging University.
You will get through it, I promise.
But if you can't you can always drop out.
(Just don't forget you'll owe the government some money.)