Doctor... Who?

Doctors. You can say a lot about them.
There are a heck of a lot of types: eye doctors, teeth doctors (also known as dentists.. please see my other post depicting how evil they are. Right HERE), child doctors (paediatricians, not to be confused with paedos), woman doctors (Gynaecologists, not to be confused with.. er.. a Gyroscope?), witch doctors, Doctor Who, Dr. Seuss, Dr. Phil. Yeah.

So it's interesting. And soon I'll be having to waltz into the reception, ask about my appointment, wait for my appointment and then walk gloomily into the room to have my eyes poked and prodded, only to be told, most likely, that not a lot can be done about it.
Which is pretty much what happens every time anybody goes to the doctors.
That or they ply you with some drugs and tell you to come back if they:
A. Don't work
B.Work too well OR
C. Run out.

But on a good note, Doctor Who, the famous Television series and film franchise, is really really good. I think that this redeems Doctors no end.

Seriously though, Doctors have to go through one heck of a lot. First training.. which is many years, then actually dealing with patients? Some being major hypochondriacs and others just having sore heads. And the weird thing people get stuck in their passages, no thank you. So I have a lot of respect for doctors.
And they always have to look at the worst parts of a human. All infected and gross.

Obviously, it must be incredibly rewarding when you cure a person of a disease, or save a life, or perform a heart transplant, or generally make a persons' life better.  But would you want that much responsibility?

And then there's nurses. The ones that get all the jobs the doctors hate, or are too busy to do. And work their butts off (although obviously not all of them) just for the news to say it's rubbish? So I feel for them too.

So yes. Doctors and Nurses.
A great theme for a party, but a great job?
I'm not so sure.

Five is the magic number, actually.

So, I've decided on some top 5's of everything.
Films, Books, People, Inventions, Natural Wonders, Places, Trees, Paintings, Toys.. you name it.

And today, we're looking at Inventions.
Inventions are, most obviously, exceedingly important to our lives. And pretty much everything has been invented, except for natural materials.. trees..mountains and such. So I've decided what my favourite inventions are. The Top Five.

5. Mobile Phones. Yes, I know it's probably a little cliche now, but I shall never again take my mobile phone for granted. I was without it for one day and didn't know the time, didn't have anything to avoid people in town asking me questions, and I didn't know what my boyfriend may have text me. It was weird.

4. Games. Without games I would be constantly bored. I don't mean just things like playing on the Wii or DS or something, I mean proper games too. Board games, Card games. Everything. And I guess a few Sports games.

3. Houses. Always nice to have somewhere solid to live. Couldn't live in one of those huts or a tent or something. Saying this, an occasional Tepee might be alright.

2. The Internet. (And Computers) Otherwise I wouldn't even be posting this. No Messaging, no emailing, no gaming, no awesome software, no quick music downloads. You get the jist. And it's far easier typing up an essay on this thing than writing it all up. And spellchecking is a lifesaver.

1. Electricity. Also perhaps cliche, but extraordinarily useful. We can power cookers, shavers, computers, TVs, Lights, Appliances, Chargers, Fridges. All sorts. And this is why Electricity is my favourite invention. Also, you can make awful Watt jokes with it.

Inventions: Clever. Innovative. Genius.
And we don't even have an underwater city yet.

But we do have flying cars.
Always a good thing.

Food for Thought. And Talent, apparently.

Browsing the weird news sites yet again for your enjoyment, I found something pretty darn cool.
China's got Talent.

It does. It really does. In the form of 23-year-old Bai Den Chun. He cuts cucumbers with playing cards. And seriously, it's pretty impressive.
The article for this was found at the Telegraph online AND they have a video of him cutting the cucumber.
To read and watch click THIS LINK.
At least he's not cutting the cheese, eh? (Yes, I know that was absolutely awful.)

Nathan, Toast and Marmite. From google.

But it doesn't stop there.
This only reminds me of a recent Britains Got Talent entry, 21-year-old  Nathan Wyburn, who artfully painted the judge and comedian Michael McIntyre's face onto pieces of toast using Marmite. Pretty impressive.
Even thought Marmite isn't the nicest spread. I reckon he should have gone for Peanut Butter or Jam.
For those who prefer a real news story to my anecdotes, HERE's the link to the Sun's version. (But you should prefer mine.)

Also, for the more chocolate loving of us (you know who you are) I found a wonderful invention. A car powered by chocolate. It's also partially made out of other foods such as potatoes and soy beans. The best part though, is the steering wheel made from carrots. Yes, I was a bit incredulous too. But seriously. Here's the LINK to prove it.
It's greener at least. Or.. Browner. (I know, I'll stop with the seriously crap puns and gags, but come on, some of them are kind of funny.. A bit.)

So there's your update on weird food news. I don't know why, but weird news with food as the subject, I just like it. And food is always good.

The Horror of Second Year Halls #2

You'd think one was bad enough right?

But upon living in second year halls for a year, I've discovered a whole new batch of catastrophe's.

First and foremost is the leaky toilet. Discovered only yesterday when I realised there was a large puddle building up behind the toilet. Which is lovely.
At first I thought it was my flatmate, water absolutely everywhere, no idea why.. and it could have culminated behind the toilet, right?
Upon looking this morning, I came to the conclusion that no, she's not quite as messy as I first thought.

Secondly the lovely mildew and mould in the shower. That's always nice. Because of the mould and general wearing away of the stuff that's supposed to seal the shower, it is now also as leaky as the toilet. If not, leakier. Although only when you've had a shower. There's just a nice little pool of water on the floor. Lovely.

Then there was a fire alarm this morning, and my flatmate moving out on Sunday night when I had an exam on Monday. All sorts of enjoyable things about second year halls.

But to be honest, a house can be just as bad as halls.  Except with less people to piss you off, but in much closer proximity. And there isn't cleaners to clear up their mess.

Ode to Imagination.

This blog post is devoted to the imagination. To people. To our world, and most of all, to paper.

Because we can make many many things out of paper.
Books, Notes, Flyers, Posters, Paper Aeroplanes, Newspapers, Papier Mache, Drawings, Paintings, Poems, Brainstorms, Labels, Packaging, Cards.
Anything you can think of really.
Well I wrote a random poem a few days ago, and I'd like to think it's not too bad. And I'd like to share it with you.

A piece of paper can conquer the world,
It has the power to shape and to mould.
Printed in books it sends out a message,
Or used as a visa, allowing safe passage.
Signs and posters to make people think,
Messages to loved ones gone in a blink.
The words themselves can speak so loud,
They speak of things that make us proud.
Religion, fantasy, ideas and notes,
We use it to put our people to vote.
To write stories and make pictures are uses too,
And when each piece is worn out we can start one anew.

As you probably know by now, books and stories are pretty much my thing. I love them. And so for me this was a pretty good poem.

So the suggestion today is to use your imagination and think about how everything has a use. And how important it is for you.

I know, this was a weird post. But don't worry, next time It'll be back with the odd and wonderful!

The Dangers of Walking.

I'm sure many of you have walked at some point. Or ran. Or jogged. Or crawled.
All of which come with their very own unique sets of dangers.

I have done my fair share of walking, which is despicable after the first 15 minutes. Especially in hot weather.
So I'm going to tell you my top walking dangers.
And then give you tips on how to avoid these dangers.

1. Dehydration and getting out of breath. Dangerous rating: 9/10. Why? Because you may die/ feel like dying. Avoiding this is simple, drinking (preferably water, but alcohol makes it less painful) and stopping for a rest.

2. Low hanging branches. These are a very real danger, even for short people. Trust me, I'm short and a branch HAS whacked me in the head. Easily avoided by actually looking where you're going and ducking.

3. Slipping. Wet and snowy/icy weather is a pain in the ass because of this. Who hasn't fallen over in the snow? Avoided by taking careful steps and not leaving banana skins lying around.

4. Falling over/ making a fool of oneself. This can lead to very serious injuries. I mean it. Broken arms galore. So basically, try not to trip over yourself. This has also happened to me.

Man Falling- Wikipedia

5. Hidden rocks and/or invisible dangers. These are complete asses. Absolutely no way to avoid these, except for noting the glint on the glass door before you walk into it.


6. Other overhead catastrophes (ie. Birds and other falling objects). Can't really be avoided unless you look up or hear it coming.

7. Mid-section dangers (ie. Elbows (although for the small this is a head danger and for the tall this is a crotch or rib danger) and also bushes). Mid section dangers basically only make you look like an idiot. Anyone can avoid a bush. So look where you're going.

8. Other obstacles.  Anything. Most of which can be avoided. Some examples are: traffic cones, cars, bikes, signs, trees, statues, people, lampposts, demonic fairies, building sites etc.


To finish off I would also like to warn you of the dangers of walking in all weather. As I've already stated, rain and snow is bad. And also the sun, especially when sticking to the tarmac when stood in one spot in the boiling sun for too long.

Also, large hailstones.

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This one was for you Ed. :D

And here's some random links, because I can:
The Benefits and Dangers of Walking - yes, it's a real one.
Wikipedia's Walking page. Very informative.
Weather page on Wikipedia.
REAL Massive Hailstones.
Hail (hailstones) on wikipedia - you know, if you wanted to know how they're made and stuff.

Dressing for Dinner or Dressing as Dinner? Your Call.

Cheese Shoes (found at Metro.co.uk)

After having a good old look about the Internet for weird news stories, I found a corker.

A pair of shoes made from Cheese. You don't believe me? There's a picture for proof, and HERE's the news article. So, how about some more dairy footwear, anyone?

Picture from Google
Lady Gaga and Meat
Dress.

And let's not forget Lady Gaga's infamous Meat Dress. Which many people had a lot of beef with. (Pardon the pun.) But seriously, what is it with fashion and food?

I reckon I can find some really good food fashion out there though. So this is my post mission.

Food on clothes have always been an idea, we've seen pictures of cakes on clothes, fruit on heads and the cherry fad that happened, don't know if you remember, but not so long ago fruit was all around us. Cherry dresses everywhere. I'll admit, I did really want one, and I did get something with strawberries on it at one point. But it was all in the name of food. Something I love.

But this just seems a little ridiculous.

Picture from Google

Saying this, I did find this very interesting Burger Dress. I actually quite like it. Would never ever wear it, but at least it would certainly make people stop and stare. 

Of course this also makes me think of the poor people who have to parade outside restaurants and cafes trying to lure people in wearing a food costume of their choice, and the unfortunate people at fancy dress parties who think to come as food. Although very original, most people do think it's weird. Personally, I reckon I could get away with it. And everybody should really. Fight the conformity and all.

I also found THIS website hosting some pictures of food as outfits, and personally I adore the bread one. And the Artichoke hearts. But wow. Elegance and food combined.
Plus I can see a massive upside to food as clothing. When you get hungry all you have to do is take something from the piece of clothing. I'm thinking I'm going to have a cake hat.

So to bring this to a close, I reckon food fashion is the way forward, providing it's not past it's use by date. Ew.

Royal Weddings and a Brief, Biased and Odd History of Love.

So, the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton will soon be underway, so I thought it only right to have a look at the great history of love and romance and so on, seeing as it's not long til the big day, and we in England get a day off for it.

As much as it's nice to watch a wedding, especially one as fancy and no doubt beautiful as this one (plus I want to see the dress) I'm not sure I will be able to as I have a distinct lack of a television in my flat. Saying this, I may wheedle my way into spending the day at home or with my sister. Both places have a TV, and other creature comforts that my room sorely lacks.

So, the history of love, in my eyes, goes a little like this:

Prince William and Kate Middleton
From Mirror.co.uk

-St Valentine. I have absolutely no idea what happened there, so a Wikipedia page will be linked to, right HERE. But Valentine's day nowadays is a celebration of all things sufficiently cuddly and love-inducing. It's a couples day. And when you're not one of a couple it's a completely miserable day, considering it's supposed to be about love and happiness.

-Sir Lancelot and Guienevere. Yes, I know it's a legend, and I know that Guienevere was with King Arthur, but honestly, who can say no to a big rugged knight who just wants to whisk you away?

-Shakespeare. Well, he didn't half know how to write about love. Romeo and Juliet, Shall I Compare Thee? (one of his sonnets) and so on. Plus being a poet and playwright that everybody does love seems romantic enough for me. And also I'd say Jane Austen definitely does her bit for old fashioned English romance.

-Love in general. It may sound completely soppy, but as Wet Wet Wet concluded ' Love Is All Around'. And It's true. A million types of love. And isn't that very, very nice?

Images from google

- (carrying on) Love songs. My favourites being old rocky classics such as Aerosmiths' 'Don't Wanna Miss A Thing', Bon Jovi's 'Always' and 'Bed of Roses' and Bryan Adams' 'Everything I do'. But love songs are just generally there to make us all feel very, very soppy and adored. And for the most part I would say they do.

So that's my idea of what the L word is all about. Along with a few weird ideas about literature.
So yes, don't forget on the Royal Wedding day to remember this is all about Love. Not who may be running the country and definitely not about how expensive the dress is. Or how grand the guests are. Although these are definitely points to notice.

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Some Links you may find interesting:

BBCs History of Royal Weddings

The Official Royal Wedding Website

List of Love Songs (for weddings apparently)

Last But not Least, the WIKIPEDIA PAGE. (Oh Wikipedia, you are a saviour)