The Handbag of Hell.

This post will be owning up to a lot.
After reading a friends blog about what's in her handbag (to be nosy, you can look at her post HERE) , I've been inspired to write about what's in my handbag. Now, you might think its not that bad, but if you know me, then you'll know I carry a lot in my handbag, and it's actually got better over the years.
At college I had an absolutely enormous bag that literally had everything in it.
Now I've whittled it down to a fairly normal sized handbag, but I still cram stuff into it.

For many eons the modern woman has had her handbag. She cradles it in her arms every single day of the year, almost never letting it out of her sight. The trusty handbag is almost more important than the not-so-trusty boyfriend (but we love them anyway), but not quite, because it can't give you hugs and kisses, or make you tea. But over the centuries of dependence we have filled our handbag with more and more useless stuff. Now is the time to reveal all of this stuff, and take a hold of our handbags with pride! (And empty out all of those receipts and tissues).

Of course, there is that thing that a girls handbag can tell you a lot about her. The look of it and what's inside. As you'll see my one says that I think of a lot of possibilities that are unlikely to happen, take precautions for everything and get ill quite a bit.

If I emptied it out it would look like a rubbish dump. And here's a picture to prove it.
So now, just like every woman should do at some point every ten years, I've got my bag on my bed, and I'll guiltily list the contents (and try to justify them).

- My mobile phone. I went without my phone for a day and the most annoying thing was that I never knew what the time was. And not being able to know what other were doing, so not good.
- My Glasses. They help me see, I need them.
- Three pens (red,black,blue) and a notepad. This is Uni's fault, plus I always find i need to write things down at the most inopportune moments.
- My Purse Well, this ones a no-brainer, but I could probably do with getting rid of the receipts inside.
- An endless supply of tissues. Who knows when you'll need them. As I have a massive cold at the moment, I need lots. As well as my lozenges, throat spray and so on.
- A Mirror. This is where the uselessness kicks in, although it is good for checking for food in your teeth.
- Paracetamol and Ibuprofen Always carry pain relief (I get headaches easily).
- Also Hay fever tablets.
- Hand Sanitiser - for unruly toilets.
- My Camera (currently). Because it's nice outside and I keep meaning to take random pictures of pretty things.
- Some plasters. You never know.
- Hair band X2
- A Comb
- Tweezers
- Batteries (for my camera)
- Make up. Don't ask me why I have so much of it yet don't use it that often. (Includes 2 eyeshadow sets, 2 lipsalves, mascara, lipgloss, 2 lipsticks).
- Reciepts and lozenge wrappers, maybe a sweet wrapper or two.
- Packets of beechams and decaf coffee. People find this one weird. This is because I don't want to get caught out without a Beechams, and in case there is no decaf coffee at someones house/out and about.
- Ear plugs
- Chewing gum
- A random button.

Please feel free to gawk at the sheer amount of crap shown here.

And that's the entire contents of my bag folks. Mostly useful things, but a couple of weird things and rubbish things thrown in for good luck.
Hopefully everyone can be as honest about the amount of pure crap that inhabits their bags.
Please.
And for the sake of everyone's sanity, we should tidy them up a bit too.

Doctor... Who?

Doctors. You can say a lot about them.
There are a heck of a lot of types: eye doctors, teeth doctors (also known as dentists.. please see my other post depicting how evil they are. Right HERE), child doctors (paediatricians, not to be confused with paedos), woman doctors (Gynaecologists, not to be confused with.. er.. a Gyroscope?), witch doctors, Doctor Who, Dr. Seuss, Dr. Phil. Yeah.

So it's interesting. And soon I'll be having to waltz into the reception, ask about my appointment, wait for my appointment and then walk gloomily into the room to have my eyes poked and prodded, only to be told, most likely, that not a lot can be done about it.
Which is pretty much what happens every time anybody goes to the doctors.
That or they ply you with some drugs and tell you to come back if they:
A. Don't work
B.Work too well OR
C. Run out.

But on a good note, Doctor Who, the famous Television series and film franchise, is really really good. I think that this redeems Doctors no end.

Seriously though, Doctors have to go through one heck of a lot. First training.. which is many years, then actually dealing with patients? Some being major hypochondriacs and others just having sore heads. And the weird thing people get stuck in their passages, no thank you. So I have a lot of respect for doctors.
And they always have to look at the worst parts of a human. All infected and gross.

Obviously, it must be incredibly rewarding when you cure a person of a disease, or save a life, or perform a heart transplant, or generally make a persons' life better.  But would you want that much responsibility?

And then there's nurses. The ones that get all the jobs the doctors hate, or are too busy to do. And work their butts off (although obviously not all of them) just for the news to say it's rubbish? So I feel for them too.

So yes. Doctors and Nurses.
A great theme for a party, but a great job?
I'm not so sure.

Beautiful Bodies or Mutilation? You decide. (WARNING: If you're squeamish, I suggest you don't read this)

So, for those of you interested in the weird and wonderful, self mutilation and odd looking things on the body, you've found the right blog for you. For those of you who liked Cat Man (in my tattoo post- Here's a Link to it :D), you'll love this new batch of modified people.

Today I welcome you to my very own interesting bodies show provided for you by searching google. (This folks, means that the pictures aren't mine)

Star Implant. Ouch.



Lizard Man

First up! The Lizard Man.



This man is, in fact, a lizard. His hobbies may include basking in the sun and eating flies.(Below, Right)

Personally, I reckon he could do with a bright green mohecan going on. And some more odd implants (like the ones on his eyebrows or the one on the left.

 



Next up is the weird and wonderful world of Scarification.
Which is actually rather nasty. It includes either cutting into the skin, cutting areas of skin out or the burning off of skin in order to make a design on the skin. This usually stands out from the skin, as doing this causes scars (hence 'Scarification'). This stands out a lot more than tattoos on darker skin tones.
Although I definitely would not recommend it. Looks bloody painful, as you can definately see here.

Going into lesser painful acts, there's a few pretty cool things you can do with normal tattoos. For example this guy (right) had a darn good idea for a shark tattoo. And you can get UV Ink with which to be tattooed with (below, left). Which is pretty cool if you're the clubbing type, or just generally like UV.

 

Then we get onto piercings. And, come on. Who hasn't ever seen a piercing.
But I'm not talking about normal piercings. I'm talking about extreme piercing. And I'm pretty sure this next guy will have you wondering whether he is the most pierced person ever. (Truth is, I don't know, but maybe).

Either way, that's a lot of piercings.

God knows how heavy that must be.

Then there's this. Another type of piercing. It's a corset piercing. And don't be fooled, cause piercings bloody hurt. And although this looks pretty, it doesn't actually last very long usually.
It's also just a little bit odd looking in my opinion. Although to be honest, this blog isn't really very 'normal' looking really is it?

And so, just for a bit of fun, I thought I'd throw this guy in here. Now please, don't do this at home, firstly because you could easily break something and secondly because it makes me feel slightly queasy.
In fact, I'm pretty sure most people would feel queasy at the sight of this stuff.

Onto my final act tonight. The female version of the Cat Man. In fact, I think they should definitely be introduced to one another. This is Cat Lady. At least, that's what I'm calling her.
I'm pretty sure she, much like the lizard man, also enjoys basking in the sun, but not eating flies.

She's definitely gone to a few lengths trying to be a cat, but I'm not so sure it measures up to the famous Cat Man. What do you think?

(There's also a woman named Jocelyn Wildenstein who tried to look like a cat. If you want to see bad plastic surgery, click this link.) 

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Please read all the relevant links before even thinking about trying out some of these. There are substantial risks involved. And I'd rather not be sued. Thanks.

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A pretty good site on all of the above that I found is This One.

You are feeling sleepy...

Hypnotism.

What do you think when you hear that word?
I'm guessing most people would think of mind control, body control, no control in fact, and possibly relaxation. Maybe a way of telling you things that you didn't know about yourself.

But what is is really?

Well, the only part in the above description that was one hundred percent correct was a way of relaxing you. And the part about knowing yourself better.
The word Hypnosis derives from the Greek word Hypnos, who was the Greek god/personification of sleep.

Sigmund Freud

Hypnotism is usually used by those trained to do so as a form of therapy. Hypnotherapy in fact. Hypnotherapy can be used to treat problems such as weight issues, pain, alcohol and drug issues, behavioural issues, anxiety and depression,  phobias, etcetera.

Hypnotherapy was founded by Sigmund Freud, when he founded his psychoanalytical approach to psychology. (I know, he was a little crazy with the whole fancying your mother thing and dreaming about phallic symbols, but some good did come out of it. Like hypnotherapy and dream dictionaries. -come on, they are quite funny.)

I myself am undergoing hypnotherapy at my university and being honest, I think it may have helped. Only slightly, but then again, I haven't had many sessions.

But from my experience hypnotism takes you away to a place where only you can go to. It's the most wonderful, peaceful place you can think or dream of. And it's all yours. Mine, for example is a wood-surrounded garden filled with flowers, birds and butterflies. A sparkling river runs through it and the sun beats down. The gentle zephyrs carry only the fragrance of flowers, wood and late spring.
It's always nice to go to that place and just sit in the garden and think.

Hypnotism, of course has always had a bad reputation. Mainly because 'magicians' use it to supposedly trick people into doing things, or getting them to do things that they otherwise would not.
I think Derren Brown is probably a good name to drop here.

A common misconception is also that when you are 'under', it's difficult to get out. From my own experience I've found that this isn't the case. You are always aware of your surroundings, so much so it's sometimes hard to get into the right state, as even small noises can be a distraction.


Although I could tell you much about my own experiences, it's probably better left to the experts.
So, if you'd like more information I would recommend the following links:

The Hypnotherapy Association UK
Wikipedia's Extensive page on Hypnotherapy
US Hypnosis
Meditation Ideas

(please note that Wikipedia pages may not be 100% correct)