The Handbag of Hell.

This post will be owning up to a lot.
After reading a friends blog about what's in her handbag (to be nosy, you can look at her post HERE) , I've been inspired to write about what's in my handbag. Now, you might think its not that bad, but if you know me, then you'll know I carry a lot in my handbag, and it's actually got better over the years.
At college I had an absolutely enormous bag that literally had everything in it.
Now I've whittled it down to a fairly normal sized handbag, but I still cram stuff into it.

For many eons the modern woman has had her handbag. She cradles it in her arms every single day of the year, almost never letting it out of her sight. The trusty handbag is almost more important than the not-so-trusty boyfriend (but we love them anyway), but not quite, because it can't give you hugs and kisses, or make you tea. But over the centuries of dependence we have filled our handbag with more and more useless stuff. Now is the time to reveal all of this stuff, and take a hold of our handbags with pride! (And empty out all of those receipts and tissues).

Of course, there is that thing that a girls handbag can tell you a lot about her. The look of it and what's inside. As you'll see my one says that I think of a lot of possibilities that are unlikely to happen, take precautions for everything and get ill quite a bit.

If I emptied it out it would look like a rubbish dump. And here's a picture to prove it.
So now, just like every woman should do at some point every ten years, I've got my bag on my bed, and I'll guiltily list the contents (and try to justify them).

- My mobile phone. I went without my phone for a day and the most annoying thing was that I never knew what the time was. And not being able to know what other were doing, so not good.
- My Glasses. They help me see, I need them.
- Three pens (red,black,blue) and a notepad. This is Uni's fault, plus I always find i need to write things down at the most inopportune moments.
- My Purse Well, this ones a no-brainer, but I could probably do with getting rid of the receipts inside.
- An endless supply of tissues. Who knows when you'll need them. As I have a massive cold at the moment, I need lots. As well as my lozenges, throat spray and so on.
- A Mirror. This is where the uselessness kicks in, although it is good for checking for food in your teeth.
- Paracetamol and Ibuprofen Always carry pain relief (I get headaches easily).
- Also Hay fever tablets.
- Hand Sanitiser - for unruly toilets.
- My Camera (currently). Because it's nice outside and I keep meaning to take random pictures of pretty things.
- Some plasters. You never know.
- Hair band X2
- A Comb
- Tweezers
- Batteries (for my camera)
- Make up. Don't ask me why I have so much of it yet don't use it that often. (Includes 2 eyeshadow sets, 2 lipsalves, mascara, lipgloss, 2 lipsticks).
- Reciepts and lozenge wrappers, maybe a sweet wrapper or two.
- Packets of beechams and decaf coffee. People find this one weird. This is because I don't want to get caught out without a Beechams, and in case there is no decaf coffee at someones house/out and about.
- Ear plugs
- Chewing gum
- A random button.

Please feel free to gawk at the sheer amount of crap shown here.

And that's the entire contents of my bag folks. Mostly useful things, but a couple of weird things and rubbish things thrown in for good luck.
Hopefully everyone can be as honest about the amount of pure crap that inhabits their bags.
Please.
And for the sake of everyone's sanity, we should tidy them up a bit too.

Dressing for Dinner or Dressing as Dinner? Your Call.

Cheese Shoes (found at Metro.co.uk)

After having a good old look about the Internet for weird news stories, I found a corker.

A pair of shoes made from Cheese. You don't believe me? There's a picture for proof, and HERE's the news article. So, how about some more dairy footwear, anyone?

Picture from Google
Lady Gaga and Meat
Dress.

And let's not forget Lady Gaga's infamous Meat Dress. Which many people had a lot of beef with. (Pardon the pun.) But seriously, what is it with fashion and food?

I reckon I can find some really good food fashion out there though. So this is my post mission.

Food on clothes have always been an idea, we've seen pictures of cakes on clothes, fruit on heads and the cherry fad that happened, don't know if you remember, but not so long ago fruit was all around us. Cherry dresses everywhere. I'll admit, I did really want one, and I did get something with strawberries on it at one point. But it was all in the name of food. Something I love.

But this just seems a little ridiculous.

Picture from Google

Saying this, I did find this very interesting Burger Dress. I actually quite like it. Would never ever wear it, but at least it would certainly make people stop and stare. 

Of course this also makes me think of the poor people who have to parade outside restaurants and cafes trying to lure people in wearing a food costume of their choice, and the unfortunate people at fancy dress parties who think to come as food. Although very original, most people do think it's weird. Personally, I reckon I could get away with it. And everybody should really. Fight the conformity and all.

I also found THIS website hosting some pictures of food as outfits, and personally I adore the bread one. And the Artichoke hearts. But wow. Elegance and food combined.
Plus I can see a massive upside to food as clothing. When you get hungry all you have to do is take something from the piece of clothing. I'm thinking I'm going to have a cake hat.

So to bring this to a close, I reckon food fashion is the way forward, providing it's not past it's use by date. Ew.

The Evolution of Men.

Upon watching football at a pub swamped in testosterone (not my idea, my boyfriends, but I did have a lovely pudding there) I decided that men are a very interesting subject.

Especially those watching football.
It's really odd.
I would compare it to watching a woman who loves shopping go into a shoe shop. When there's an amazing pair of shoes, her whole face glows. And this, I swear, is exactly what happens with men who enjoy football.

There is one difference however, when women find a shoe that they completely adore, and buy it, they don't yell out and raise their fists in the air in triumph.
I'd like to think it's far more sophisticated. We do that kind of thing later when nobody is watching.
(In fact a friend did comment these exact words : 'you don't see a woman cheering at a shoe'. He's a guy who likes football.)
Also, If women don't get what they want, just like men, they complain about it to their other halves. That or are sulky. (You know who you are.)
The weird thing is, another person pointed out, that both clothes and football include seasons.
And colours. And on occasion balls too.

So yes.
I also noticed that when doing something a man (or a woman, sometimes) enjoys, we begin to revert back to the stone age. Leaping around gibbering nonsense and such.

So if that's what I thought going to the pub to watch football, I can't imagine the chaos at an actual game.

How to avoid Salespeople.

(If you want the tips.. go to the bottom of this post)
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I've always found being stopped in the street annoying, and when it's by a person trying to sell me something, I just get that little bit more tetchy.
I don't care who you are, or what you want me to buy, I really don't want to talk to you on a cold, wet, windy day when I'm about to get something to eat because I didn't have anything for breakfast.

Starvation wins over your sales tactics.

Plus I hate questions like: 'What is your daily skincare routine?' because truth be told, I just wash it and go, with a possibility of some moisturiser. (Seriously, that whole cleanse, tone , moisturise thing.. Doesn't need to be done. My skins perfectly fine.)

The ones that go door to door are probably the worst. When you've opened that door, that's it. They're there to stay. And if you let them in, you're in for it - they'll unleash their endless sales chatter upon you. Try every trick in the book.
But be resilient! Because you don't honestly want to fill your home with tonnes of crap you don't need right? You've probably already done enough of that, at least, I know I have.
Unless of course, you quite want what they've got to offer. (If you know what I mean..)

Generally, I'm not much of a fan of salespeople. If you're going to try selling something at least try to persuade me slightly covertly.
As much as you possibly can, just try to be subtle.
I know I'm a little hypocritical, as I have tried selling people things before (my glorious career as a hand-painted rock salesperson when I was a young girl of (around) 7, and more recently in a local Charity Shop), but at least I tried not to annoy people.
But some salespeople completely force themselves upon you. They won't let you say no.
And those are the ones I just want to slap.

So what I quite enjoy doing is bantering. Although saving it for the ones where you can probably get away with it.
Because A) It leaves you with a smile on your face (and no slapping is involved)
and B) You feel as though you've beaten them at their own game.
And all you need to do is think up some odd/witty/quickfire answers to their questions.
Or just ask them their own questions.
But that's reserved for someone who really really deserves it.

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I did promise some tips on
How to avoid Salespeople, so here you go:

• In the street: Look down, or pretend you're doing something. Walk as far away as possible.
  (If this fails, stare at them. It'll scare them off)
• In the street: Get out your mobile phone/start talking to a friend
• On the telephone: Tell them you've got bad signal, or just put the phone down.
• On the doorstep: Pretend you're not in
• You've opened the door: Get someone to call or pretend you're foreign.
• In a shop: Be very interested in something a few aisles away.
• ALL salespeople: Avoid like the plague.

I Protest!

So yesterday I once again discovered something I despised.
Normal people probably aren't too bothered by it, quite a few even indulge in it, take part in it.
But I abhor it.

What is this, I hear you ask.
It's Protesting.

Yes, the human right to protest is what really pees me off.
Predominantly because protests are supposed to be peaceful, but do you really call jerking around placards (thanks to Ed for that wonderful word) saying possibly aggressive things, whilst yelling about being wronged and shouting at others to do the same peaceful?

Student protest

And that's just the usual, well-mannered protesters.

In the past, and in particular in the student population, the right to protest has well and truly been worn out. People used to protest quite a lot. And it's been getting more like that recently. People usually seemed to only protest to say that they had done it, and that was OK. It was a major part of student life. Did you really care if you didn't protest?  Of course you did, about certain things, but maybe you just didn't see the need to do things quite so overtly.

Protester and photographers

And these days, it just gets worse.
There are the ones who go out there only to attack people, to cause criminal damage and to get in the papers. And this is sometimes only for their 15 minutes of fame. To get a tiny bit of attention.
Others want to be seen to be doing something about their cause. To make it known.
But why would you need that?
If you really cared about your cause you would do something about it by yourself, make small changes to your life, and do it quietly.
For example, I care about people dying from not having working organs, so I've been an organ doner for quite a while now. I don't rave about it because I know I'd be making a difference to another persons life at some point.
Why would you want to stampede around the street gibbering like a monkey?

I think this is the same principle.
Plus, protesting for whatever it is doesn't really make too much of a difference. All it does is bring attention to your cause. Yes, this is a good thing, especially if the cause is well justified.

But the same thing would apply if, for example, MPs were inundated with letters. They would have to address the issue, whether they liked it or not. A well worded letter is a far better channel than shouting about it and possible violence.



Police and Protesters

There are also added drawbacks. One is that some people will try to hijack a protest. Certain gangs for example. And they do this with the sole purpose of causing damage and being violent.

The other is that protesting wastes police time.

Which would you rather have? A) The police using their time to catch the real criminals (robbers, murderers, terrorists) or B) The police using their time to watch over an unruly crowd of normal people protesting about, say, cuts.

So really, what I'm saying is, why protest when there are other means of doing things? You'd just have to be a little more creative.

And also, is there really anything 'peaceful' about protesting?
I don't think so.

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Some useful webpages:
-Your Rights- The Right to Peaceful Protest
-How to become an Organ Doner

What On Earth is a Blog?

"Blogging?" I hear you say.
"It's all well and good but is it not just a glorified diary?"
Well, no, my friends, it is not.
In fact what most people believe to be a 'glorified diary' can be seen as a device to get yourself noticed in the workplace, a place to write down thoughts and opinions on things that perhaps you didn't even know you cared about.
Such as politics. Before university I didn't give a rats-ass about politics. Now, one year in, I find myself wanting to write about my own views on politics on Facebook and in this blog.

As this is my first blog, I can't say I am very experienced. So bear with me please.
The whole blogging routine is a little mind-boggling to the average human being, yet being at university, where your world practically revolves around using a computer correctly, does give me an advantage.
I have also joined other websites posing as blogs, yet the blogging quality is.. not exactly what I had been hoping for. People see blogging as a way to show others their lives and tell people what happenned in their day. But that is just a diary. And I already have an online diary.
(see www.opendiary.com for diaries)

I was hoping that this first blog would be funny, but alas, it isn't nearly as funny as my sister's blog. (http://ravesrantsandrandomramblings.blogspot.com/) Which truly is hilarious in my opinion.
She is a Magazine Journalism student, so she knows what shes.. er.. typing about.

To conclude, I shall make a promise.
I promise to try my uttermost hardest to get my blogging up to a high quality, and to not write diary entries. I also promise to try to update as soon as I think of a good idea for a blog.

Stacey