How to Survive Living With Parents After University

This summer is the end of my Uni year, and after these first few weeks I can tell you that I already know thatit's going to be the same as the last few summers. There have been arguments, and there will be more no doubt. So I'm pretty sure my mum doesn't really want me or my sister to be living back at home either. Not least because we also pose a threat to her privacy and can be pretty annoying. So you see, I feel both my pain and my mums.

I think the first tip here has to be patience, and talking things over, and then moving out as fast as you possibly can.
They need to see that you're an adult and do things your way now, and you need to try to give them the benefit of the doubt. I know it's hard, experiences over too-long summers and Easters have shown me that living with parents after an extended time by yourself is, for lack of a better way of saying it, a pain in the ass. However, there are perks.

Image from Google

Perks Include:
- Not having to do all your washing or cooking anymore. More people, more chances of taking it in turns. Although I still very much intend to do my own washing. Now the only person I want touching my underwear is me. Well, when I'm washing them.

- Your mum's (or dad's) roast dinner. As a student, this was a no-go area. Now all you have to do is eat it, and scrape off the greasy tins afterwards (which is THE worst job ever).

- More channels on TV. WIN.

- A nicer house. Probably cleaner, too.

Reasons not to:
- Be prepared to strip away any independence you had at Uni. Now you'll be expected to do what is asked of you again. Your parents always want to know what you're up to. It's only to see if they can help, or to know you're safe, but after so much independence it gets old fast.

- Nagging. You never had to deal with people caring what you did at Uni, now it'll feel like more than ever before. Now you need to get a job, clean, do errands and so on, because now you're not at Uni every day. note to parents: this doesn't mean we're not trying our best to get a job. You know what the job market is like nowadays.

- Less space. There's always less space. Your room now doesn't feel like a haven of solitude because it's stuffed full of the contents of your Uni room. This means that you're forced to go downstairs and be around the 'rents whenever they're in. Tip: go out more.

- Your parents probably don't want you back either. Sure, they weren't happy when you went, called you up most days and silently wished that you wouldn't like it at Uni, but their bird has flown the nest now. Now they've got over that little bit of oddness, and revel in their own independance.

Image from Google

So, as an overall account of living with your parents after Uni, its probably best not to. You WILL annoy eachother. Everyone needs their independance and privacy. But if you have to, just remember it won't be forever, and to try to be as nice as possible.

The Handbag of Hell.

This post will be owning up to a lot.
After reading a friends blog about what's in her handbag (to be nosy, you can look at her post HERE) , I've been inspired to write about what's in my handbag. Now, you might think its not that bad, but if you know me, then you'll know I carry a lot in my handbag, and it's actually got better over the years.
At college I had an absolutely enormous bag that literally had everything in it.
Now I've whittled it down to a fairly normal sized handbag, but I still cram stuff into it.

For many eons the modern woman has had her handbag. She cradles it in her arms every single day of the year, almost never letting it out of her sight. The trusty handbag is almost more important than the not-so-trusty boyfriend (but we love them anyway), but not quite, because it can't give you hugs and kisses, or make you tea. But over the centuries of dependence we have filled our handbag with more and more useless stuff. Now is the time to reveal all of this stuff, and take a hold of our handbags with pride! (And empty out all of those receipts and tissues).

Of course, there is that thing that a girls handbag can tell you a lot about her. The look of it and what's inside. As you'll see my one says that I think of a lot of possibilities that are unlikely to happen, take precautions for everything and get ill quite a bit.

If I emptied it out it would look like a rubbish dump. And here's a picture to prove it.
So now, just like every woman should do at some point every ten years, I've got my bag on my bed, and I'll guiltily list the contents (and try to justify them).

- My mobile phone. I went without my phone for a day and the most annoying thing was that I never knew what the time was. And not being able to know what other were doing, so not good.
- My Glasses. They help me see, I need them.
- Three pens (red,black,blue) and a notepad. This is Uni's fault, plus I always find i need to write things down at the most inopportune moments.
- My Purse Well, this ones a no-brainer, but I could probably do with getting rid of the receipts inside.
- An endless supply of tissues. Who knows when you'll need them. As I have a massive cold at the moment, I need lots. As well as my lozenges, throat spray and so on.
- A Mirror. This is where the uselessness kicks in, although it is good for checking for food in your teeth.
- Paracetamol and Ibuprofen Always carry pain relief (I get headaches easily).
- Also Hay fever tablets.
- Hand Sanitiser - for unruly toilets.
- My Camera (currently). Because it's nice outside and I keep meaning to take random pictures of pretty things.
- Some plasters. You never know.
- Hair band X2
- A Comb
- Tweezers
- Batteries (for my camera)
- Make up. Don't ask me why I have so much of it yet don't use it that often. (Includes 2 eyeshadow sets, 2 lipsalves, mascara, lipgloss, 2 lipsticks).
- Reciepts and lozenge wrappers, maybe a sweet wrapper or two.
- Packets of beechams and decaf coffee. People find this one weird. This is because I don't want to get caught out without a Beechams, and in case there is no decaf coffee at someones house/out and about.
- Ear plugs
- Chewing gum
- A random button.

Please feel free to gawk at the sheer amount of crap shown here.

And that's the entire contents of my bag folks. Mostly useful things, but a couple of weird things and rubbish things thrown in for good luck.
Hopefully everyone can be as honest about the amount of pure crap that inhabits their bags.
Please.
And for the sake of everyone's sanity, we should tidy them up a bit too.

How to blag University.

Blagging University is not as easy as it sounds. Upon almost finishing my third and final year, I have learnt a lot about the art of blagging, how to avoid salespeople, looking like you're doing something important when you're not, spouting words that sound good when you have no idea what you're talking about, and going to lectures after having hardly any sleep and probably still being a bit drunk.
I'm pretty sure anybody who has been, or currently goes to University knows the feeling.

You will need:
-One very powerful liver.
-An excessive amount of patience.
-A can-do attitude (if you do not have this you will need more patience).
-Skills in lying, personal defence, hypochondria, insomnia amongst others.
-To overcome the hatred of the library that school and college inflicted upon you.
-Knowledge of microwaves and washing machines (or copious amounts of credit on your phone so that you can ring your parents/friends/999 for help).
-A good imagination (for when you're asked any questions at all).


In order to be a good guide on how to get through Uni without failing at life, I will now tell you a few how to's that you will need. Definitely.

1. How to make yourself sound knowledgeable when you don't know what you're talking about.
- Use long words, with complex sentences. (maybe by spending a few minutes wikipedia-ing some awesome sounding words, maybe even something to do with your subject.)
- Go on about it for a few paragraphs. This way everybody gets a little confused and probably won't bother with you again for a while.
There is a downfall to this approach. You may be asked to say it again in simpler terms. If this happens, I have a fail safe:
- Change the subject. You can do this by saying something along the lines of 'As relevant as that is, I think this...' And then hope you get away with it. Or, you could say that it is irrelevant because of something else, then make something up again.

Of course, this is more useful if you have a good imagination. If you don't, I suggest you try to know the answer to the question. or something about the subject.


2. How to eat junk food and not feel guilty.

This one is easy. When you're drunk you don't feel guilty at all.
The other option for the more health-conscious of you is to balance out your meals. Be sure you include lots of fruit and veg so you don't get scurvy and such, and allow yourself a 'treat' of something outrageously delicious and fatty every few weeks.
If you're like me and have a sweet tooth, eat something savoury and a bit more healthy first. You'll feel better. I promise.
Another option is to be ridiculously fastidious and eat healthily all the time. Then you have absolutely no need to feel guilty in the first place.

3. How to get yourself served quickly in a bar/club.
Girls: Lean over the counter a little, preferably with some boob showing if you want to get served by a man. Give them the eye too. And smile. Don't forget to smile.
This doesn't work on other girls, gay men or straight men that prefer flat chested females, they will just think you're a hussy and won't serve you.
With other girls, gay men or straight men who prefer flat chested girls, just wait there and smile when they come your way.


Guys: Acquire an air of not caring whether you get served. This way you might start to believe it.
To be quite honest I'm not sure there's a way to get yourself served quicker than usual, unless you've got some rippling muscles tucked away under a tight shirt. As usual, this won't often work on straight men, or on women or gay men who prefer men who aren't ripped. If you aren't that muscular, you're in with more of a chance with them.


4. How to get rid of stress.Stressed? I'm not surprised. Well, to be honest i can't help you. Just calm the hell down and don't give yourself a hernia. But, I will give you some useful websites. I'm not all bad.
DeStress - a website for all your stress-free needs.
Unconventional (ie. Weird) ways to de-stress. 
Keep Calm Gallery.
Get a Reality Check - Seriously, the universe is huge, and you're worrying about one tiny exam?

And there you have it. A not so useful guide to blagging University.
You will get through it, I promise.
But if you can't you can always drop out.
(Just don't forget you'll owe the government some money.)

Why what happens in clubs should stay in clubs.

Don't you find that when you go out sometimes the oddest things happen to you? It's more likely when you're only with a few people, or with people you barely know, or just in a weird place.

This happened to me a while ago. It was the strangest night out I have ever been on.
I shall tell you part of the chain of events.

Firstly I must tell you a particular highlight: There was a very drunken girl whom me and my friend managed to convince (exceedingly easily) that we were lesbians. She then proceeded to call us her 'lesbian vagina friends'.

That was weird.

Then there was the two marriage proposals my friends had. Two. That's one each. One was a random guy in a club that asked my friend to marry him, and then he tried to kiss her. He got her eye. We swiftly intervened.

The other was in the kebab shop afterwards (where we bought a reeeally good pizza, which was probably utterly crap when you're not completely slaughtered). This guy told my other friend that she would go on to marry a.. oh, what was it... ah, that's it.. a snob. (Because she wasn't going to marry him). I don't even think he was drunk.

(I'm still debating whether it's a good or bad thing that I didn't get a marriage proposal... Despite me being the only single one at the time. I think the conclusion is that I'm either exceptionally lucky, or the average one. I'm going to go with the first option.)

In fact, the other day when me and my sister went out with some friends from uni, she was the one who was being chatted up (badly) by a very drunk guy. I wasn't. I'm pretty sure my dear boyfriend would find this very comforting. Even more so because I actually very rarely am approached by men when out clubbing.

Which used to be a little, you know, upsetting I guess, but now I'm glad really. Mainly because most I would assume are likely to be:
A) About to be sick on you
B) Cocky and have a unique ability to make a person feel exceedingly uncomfortable
C) Just plain weird.

So, to finish this blog that I started quite a while ago, nights out can be really very weird. My best advice I can give you is to brush up on self defence techniques and become an expert at avoiding creepy people.